


Beneath the Moonlit Sky

by CathyRin



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Amnesia, Amnesiac Yuuri, Inaccurate Geography, M/M, Magic, Mystery, Royal Tutor Yuuri, memory recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-03-27 10:44:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 30,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13879206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CathyRin/pseuds/CathyRin
Summary: The Royal Tutor, Professor Yuuri, was happy with his life in the Kingdom of Italy. Under the guidance of his mentor and friend, Court Sorcerer Celestino Cialdini, he became a respected member of the royal staff in the course of two years, but still, something was missing.For the past two years, Yuuri has been having recurring dreams of being in the middle of a storm, lights flashing everywhere, and the next thing he knew, he woke up in the ship of a merchant. Yuuri didn’t know where he came from, and he chose to forget that he had another life, but as it stands, his dreams were not going to work with him.Inspired by the song “Never Forget” by Greta Salome and Jonsi.





	1. Never Forget

**Author's Note:**

> The story was created during the early 2017 and in a post-Eurovision state of mind when I first heard "Never Forget" by Greta Salome and Jonsi. I figured the lyrics of the song and the fact that the setting of the music video was on a snowy location really set the mood for me to create this. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it~!

**Chapter 1: Never Forget**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_A powerful storm that snuck at night._

_A ship on the brink of capsizing._

_An entire crew pinned down by an unknown force, watching him in desperation._

_A figure in black is in front of him, glowing eyes intent on attacking._

_A fight in which he sees different lights flashing, hitting the bottom of the sea._

_An entire crew became a bargaining chip._

_An acceptance of surrender._

_An apology made as a whisper in his ear._

_The feeling of panic, fear and regret coursed through him._

_Then…darkness._

Yuuri shot up in his bed, dripping in cold sweat as he looked around him, finding himself on his bed, safe and sound. He took his glasses from his nightstand and looked out of the window to see a thunderstorm raging outside. He sighed as he stood from his bed after looking at the clock that says it was already six in the morning. Still early for him, but not for the servants of Venezia Castle.

He looked across the window to see the evidence of a strong rainstorm last night, the view of the castle maze looking gloomy instead of the normal bright and sunny atmosphere it has during summer.

“The rainy season is here…” Yuuri muttered as he recalled his dream. “And I had that dream again…” he then went to his desk and took out his diary in order to write down the details of the dream that he was able to recall with each passing night.

For the past two years, he has been having recurring dreams of a ship, a storm, a figure attacking him and the crew, and lights flashing left and right. He knew from the recurring dreams of his that some of those lights came from him—from using magic.

What was new to him now was that he remembered the dark figure who had used his crew as a bargaining chip. Yuuri wrote down that he suspected she held the crew as hostages unless he surrenders. He eventually did, but what happened next was what baffled him the most.

The figure apologized and whispered something to him before he blacked out.

Yuuri’s hands stopped when he has written the last of what he could recall. Even after all these years, he still couldn’t tell if this was just a dream or a memory trying to resurface, as if telling him there was something he must remember. Celestino had told him that his memories were of a special case, of what, he didn’t know.

As he finished his entry, a worried hoot reached his ears. He turned his head to see that his familiar silver owl was looking at him worriedly, clearly ruffled by the rainstorm and his abrupt waking. The owl flew across the room to land on the perch near his desk. He gave Yuuri a questioning look by tilting its head to the side and looking at him inquisitively.

Yuuri smiled apologetically at the owl and gave him a soft caress on the head, “I’m fine now, Victor, not to worry.” He assured. “It was just a dream.”

The owl didn’t look convinced though, and pecked the diary as if to say, _‘When you write in this journal, I know you’re not fine.’_

“Thank you for worrying about me, I appreciate it.”

A knock on his door brought him out of his reverie. “Who is it?”

“It’s just me.” The door opened and Yuuri saw his friend, Celestino Cialdini, the Court Sorcerer of the Kingdom of Italy, at the doorway. “Why are you still in your nightclothes?” he wondered.

Yuuri smiled softly at the man, “I was writing in my journal on extra information about my recurring dream.” At that moment, Victor had already returned to his perch to go back to sleep. Even though he wasn’t nocturnal, he normally doesn’t wake up until the afternoon.

Celestino didn’t need to ask which dream he was talking about, as the young man had repeatedly shared new information about his recollection of that certain dream. He had tried to decipher what it meant, but like Yuuri, the questions are far more prominent than answers.

Yuuri had accepted that he might not recover his memories of the first twenty-one years of his life, but there was a gnawing feeling inside him that tells him the memories he had lost were precious to him. Instead of wallowing in self-pity about the loss of his memories, he had decided to start anew with the people he had met in the course of two years.

“I see. Well, get dressed. We have a big day ahead of us, and Phichit would arrive today.” He informed him.

A nod was all Yuuri could give before he was left behind by Celestino. He sighed as he closed his journal and placed it back under lock and key. He was always anxious that the servants would stumble upon his things and one of them would be too curious about him to the point that they would snoop around his things. After all, he was the first foreigner to be welcomed in the Italian Court, and no one liked the fact that the Court Sorcerer Cialdini had chosen a foreigner without memories as his replacement as the royal tutor of the Crispino royal twins when he became the Court Sorcerer, instead of the young hopefuls that came from noble families.

Yuuri seemed to deal with it well, as if he has been in such a situation once before. He couldn’t really describe why, but he could tell if someone was being fake or genuine in their intentions of getting to know him. It served him well enough to the point that the Crown Prince requires all men who are courting his sister to see him at least once, much to his amusement.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Yuuri, my little driftwood!” the gleeful voice of Phichit Chulanont greeted as he embraced his best friend the moment the gangway hit the pavement.

Yuuri gladly returned the warm embrace of his friend and rescuer. “Phichit, it’s only been three months since we saw each other.” he let go and saw that Phichit had somehow gotten a bit darker since he had last seen him. “Did you spend too much time in the Tropics since you left here?”

The twenty-two year-old merchant grinned, “My father was so satisfied with my growth of income that he gave me time for myself for a week to the Tropical Isles. I’m so glad you noticed. My crew were heartless saying that nothing much changed since they last saw me!”

“We didn’t say that Cap’n,” one of his crew members said with amusement, “We knew you got a bit tanner, we  were going to say it, but we thought otherwise lest we walk the plank.”

“Shush you heartless mugs!” Phichit chided playfully and turned back to Yuuri, “Come on, I’d like to monopolize your entire morning before you head back to the palace and before Victor pecks me for taking you again!” he said and continued to drag Yuuri to the Doge Square.

The two ended up in their favorite café and ordered their usual food. “So, what have you been up to since I was gone?” Phichit wondered.

Yuuri smiled. “I’ll be taking over some of Celestino’s responsibilities for a month while he goes to a Gathering.” He informed him. “They said it’s going to be a trial that involves the Court Sorcerers of every kingdom, and they’re required to attend.”

“A trial huh,” Phichit hummed. “Sounds like a serious one if all Court Sorcerers are called out for this. This person must have done something grave using magic.”

“Celestino said the same thing. He said it has been years since a Gathering has been called, so he knew it was a serious one.” Yuuri agreed.

“How serious could it be?” Phichit asked. Living as a normal non-magical person was somewhat of a good thing for the young merchant, but listening to his friend’s tales about magic affairs it never ceased to amaze him.

“They call Gatherings when a sorcerer commits a crime with the use of magic. This is big since according to him, a person of high status is involved in it. It’s basically a trial where magic is used to decide the sorcerer’s fate. Sorcerers who end up in the middle of a trial are the ones who give magic users a bad name.” the sorcerer explained. “If you’re found guilty, the sentence depends on how heavy your crime is.”

The merchant had to shiver at the thought of being brought to trial and being eyed down by the Court Sorcerers of all kingdoms. Even he wasn’t stupid enough to be the target of Court Sorcerer Cialdini’s glares. Just thinking about being in that situation with about fifty more was jarring. “The stares alone is sentence enough for me.”

“I know. Celestino doesn’t have an apprentice, what with him being stingy, that’s why I’m tasked to oversee all responsibilities Celestino would leave behind, which is mostly his classes at the Accademia.” Yuuri sighed, “Just thinking about teaching novices in the academy alone for one month is stressful.”

Phichit rolled his eyes at that, “Come on Yuuri, you’re a great teacher! Your anxiety is getting the best of you again. You’ll be fine. After all, no one could beat you in a magical duel yet.”  He encouraged. “You’ve always been so unsure of yourself. Just do it with what you have and you’re good to go.”

“Thanks Phichit.”

“Anything for my little driftwood.”

Yuuri frowned at the nickname. “You really should stop calling me that.”

“Aw but it fits you! You gave me a heart attack when one of my men told me there was a man overboard and when we took a look at you, you’re almost dying of hypothermia.” Phichit recounted again.

Yuuri had to groan as he had to recall that certain memory of his.

The young merchant was on his way to Venezia when his crew had spotted him on a large driftwood, shivering and unconscious. He had gathered his men to bring him to the ship and Phichit himself nursed him back to health. The moment he woke up was the earliest memory he could recall.

The only thing he remembered of his past to this day was his name, his age, and the fact that he is very skilled in academics and magic.

“Some memory, huh?” Yuuri mused.

“Anything else you have recalled since the last time I asked?” Phichit said, playing with his food for a bit.

Yuuri nodded. “My reoccurring dream is getting more vivid each passing night. There was a thunderstorm here last night, you know.”

Phichit nodded. “I know. That’s why I docked near Sardinia before heading here. That one was not particularly rainy but the wind is nasty enough to warrant damages. You can’t be too careful.”

“And every storm, the dream comes. I don’t know why, but that’s just it. I would have asked Seung-Gil since he’s good at mind magic, but…” Yuuri trailed off.

Phichit knew what he meant. Six months into Yuuri settling in Italy as the tutor replacement to Celestino, an acquaintance of his, Seung-Gil Lee, a young sorcerer-in-training of the Court Sorcerer of the Empire of Korea, came to Italy. It was under the pretense of him being matched to Princess Sara did he have the choice to go to Venezia.

No one needed to be a genius to tell that the matchmaking didn’t go well, with Michele protesting and Seung-Gil not really interacting with the Princess much. To his amusement, however, the younger magician’s eye and been caught by the very person in front of Yuuri at the moment.

When Seung-Gil had checked Yuuri’s mind in hopes of using magic to restore his memories, something had come up.

Yuuri’s memories of twenty-one years had been sealed by a very skilled mind sorcerer, and the only one that can unveil it was Yuuri himself. How, he does not know. If Seung-Gil ever tries to break it by force, there would be a possibility that it would endanger Yuuri more than it would help him.

That was the moment when Yuuri decided that he would rather not remember at all. If the only one who can break the seal was him, then the only reason that would have happened is that either Yuuri did it himself or another sorcerer. He had made the choice to create new memories and hope that he would meet the people of his past again.

“But you made the decision not to endanger your mind and to just get on with your life.” Phichit finished his thought for him.

Yuuri nodded. “Yeah, but sometimes I feel like…I left a lot of people behind…and I might have left someone that I loved so much. Every time I think about it, my stomach churns as if telling me not to let go of it…”

“So hold on to them.” Phichit stated as he gave his hand a pat. “If they really are precious to you, then Fate would give you the chance to meet them again.” He assured. When Yuuri smiled back at him, he knew that his words had been understood and he was grateful for his words. “You have Me, Celestino, the twins, the palace staff, heck, even Seung-Gil—though I’m not sure I would include him since he’s a bit distant to you, and of course, Victor!”

Victor was an owl that Phichit had found in one of his escapades when he ditches his crew to explore a new town. He had seen the young owlet covered in mud cold and hungry in a nest that must have fallen from a tree branch, pretty much like how he had seen Yuuri three months before. He smuggled the little owlet to his room and took care of it. It was only after he had washed and fed the owlet did he realize that what he had found was a rare Silver Moon Owl, a magical creature whose feathers can be used for healing properties once it has been illuminated by moonlight on the night of the full moon and can even be a deadly predator once angered or threatened.

He had brought it to Yuuri for it to have someone as a companion, seeing that he has no magic and Yuuri has it. At that time, he was already starting to teach the royal twins, and was as curious as Phichit with regards to the owl. What surprised them all the most was that the moment Yuuri had the owlet in his arms, he uttered the name _Victor_ and a bond had suddenly formed between them. Celestino had explained that a bond so easily established between master and familiar was rare, only occurring due to certain connections between the two of them. Phichit thought it was because he had found the two of them the same way, and the fact that Yuuri’s magic is more attuned to the Moon than anyone else in the kingdom had complimented the owlet’s nature.

Since then, the owlet grew up to become a powerful familiar and a powerful rival for Yuuri’s attention and affection that sometimes Phichit becomes the victim of its pecking when he gets too close to Yuuri, much to the sorcerer’s amusement.

“You know, I still wonder why Victor sees you as its rival, even though you’re not a potential familiar.” Yuuri teased.

Phichit pouted. “That ungrateful sack of feathers. He forgets that if it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t have such a kind master!” he complained. “Even my hamsters like him even though he eats rodents!”

Yuuri’s lip twitched, threatening a smile as he thought of it. “Ah, so that’s why you’re jealous.” For Phichit, his herd of hamsters who run free within the ship were the light of his life. The crew had to watch themselves if they would run into one of the three hamsters he keeps free onboard, lest they walk the plank for unknowingly harming one of them. It was a good thing that most of the time, they stay in his quarters.

“Put your hand where your mouth is! The first time he came close to my babies, I thought he was going to eat them!” he exclaimed, “Not a second later, they were nuzzling him! They didn’t do that to me!”

Yuuri just laughed at his complaints.

“By the way, do you still have that handkerchief you have when I found you?” he wondered.

Yuuri nodded. He always carried the handkerchief with him all the time. He just couldn’t help not to part with it for too long. “Yes. Why do you ask?”

Phichit drew circles on the table. “Remember a few weeks ago when I told you I finally got my license to operate in the Northern Countries?” he started.

Yuuri nodded, “Yeah, you were so excited to be getting that license that you treated the entire crew to drinks for one whole night.” He recalled. “Why?”

“I’m headed to the North after we finish with our trades here. I want to check if the handkerchief with your name alone will have some leads there regarding your identity.”

“Phichit, my past life…”

“Is haunting you in your dreams.” Phichit cut off. “I know you want to lay it to rest, but if you are still being bothered by your dream, then we have to solve it. Please. It would ease my mind that at least I helped you find out who you were.” He begged.

Desperate dark eyes looked back at Yuuri, daring him to say no to the man who had saved him and nursed him back to health when he was all over the place. He knew as much as him that a lot of his friends are desperate to find out who he is, but with the pleading of Yuuri to lay it to rest, they respected that they were not to know. But Phichit Chulanont was different. He wasn’t afraid to do what they wanted to do since two years ago when Yuuri appeared in their lives.

All he could do was to reach into his inner pocket and hand him the neatly folded blue handkerchief with the silver embroidery on the side with his name, _Yuuri K._ on it. “Alright, but keep it safe and I want not a spec of irremovable stain on it or you will lose your head, Phichit.”

Phichit nodded in delight and took it from his friend. “You can count on me.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Now remember Yuuri, the lesson plans for the rest of the month is on my desk and the names of the students are there. Be sure not to mix up their class schedules.” Celestino said as he was packing his things in his study. Yuuri was standing there with Victor perched on his arm, watching his friend and fellow sorcerer scuttle about trying to take the last of the things he will need in his journey. The Gathering was to be held in the town of The The Hague, which would take him two weeks to reach by train and two more weeks to return, provided the weather be merciful on his way.

Yuuri was amused that Celestino was more worried than him with regards to leaving responsibilities in Venezia than worrying about Yuuri himself. If this was what Phichit was seeing him do, then he could understand why he was always smiling when he rambles his worries to him. The young Thai merchant had left for the Northern Kingdoms to meet up with his fellow merchant friends, Guang Hong Ji, and Leo de la Iglesia for a wares hunting escapade. How Phichit does his thing, he would never know, but one thing was for sure, Phichit would one day be the richest of the Chulanont merchants because of his penchant for making friends and his great business mind.

Reaching out to grab Celestino’s shoulder, he chided, “Celestino, I’ll be just fine. It’s not like your students will eat me alive. I’ve dealt with Prince Michele, remember? Just calm down and concentrate on the Gathering.”

For someone as calm and collected as Celestino to worry about what he will leave behind was enough of an indication that this was the first time he was leaving his professional affairs to someone like Yuuri who was still new to everything but took it with a stride confidently—despite the fact that his anxiety tends to overpower him when the pressure was too much. Yuuri didn’t blame him for being frantic about it.

Celestino looked at Yuuri and sighed apologetically. “I’m sorry Yuuri, it’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that I worry you would crash and burn and I won’t be there to help you. The twins are already a handful, and I feel regretful that I had to leave you with my academy students.” He explained.

Ah. So that’s why. Yuuri thought to himself. “I’ll be alright. Besides, Victor will be with me to keep the students in line when it comes to your quizzes and to peck me if I’m burning myself out.”

The owl puffed his chest at Yuuri’s praise. True enough, Victor had the tendency to attack cheaters every time he supervises the written exams of Celestino’s students. Yuuri ran out of hands to use to count on how many Victor had caught cheating with his keen eyes and resorted to being failed by Celestino come the end of the year.

“If you feel like you can take care of it, then I trust you.” Celestino said, calming down, mostly amused of the owl’s tendency to show off. “I’ll be back in a month, but be sure to keep yourself safe when I’m not here.”

“I will.” Yuuri assured him.

And with that, not a few hours later, Celestino was on his carriage that would bring him to the train station onward to The Hague.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There are things that Yuuri has learned when living in Venezia Castle with the Crispino royal children. One, was to stay clear of Prince Michele’s way if you’re a mere human, and two, don’t get too friendly with Princess Sara at the beginning of your acquaintance, or you will be face-to-face with an angry Prince Michele.

Fortunately for Yuuri, as the Royal Tutor, he was not new to the actions of the royal children. In fact, he was being used as an Asshole Detector by the prince himself when a suitor gets too close to Princess Sara. This time, however, their parents put their foot down in the action of their son, who was preventing their daughter from going into a suitable and/or advantageous marriage.

Yuuri was on his way to his study carrying the study materials for the next day for Magia Accademia where he would begin filling in for Celestino when he saw the prince hiding behind a pillar near the garden where Sara was entertaining a suitor from France.

“Ah, Lord Jean Paul De Mille.” Yuuri said behind the prince, startling him.

“Professor Yuuri! You scared me!” the prince exclaimed, placing his hand at his rapidly beating heart.

“And you’re stalking your sister’s date _again_ , Prince Michele. Your parents explicitly told you to stay clear from their date,” Yuuri reminded him. “It would do you no good if you get caught.”

To someone who does not know Prince Michele, he would come off as brazen, violent and overprotective, but to those who had gotten to know the young prince, such as their personal servants, Celestino, Yuuri and their parents, he was just an overprotective older brother who worries that his sister would become unhappy in a marriage that his parents would arrange for her.

The fate of a princess has always been a sad one, in Yuuri’s opinion. Unless the kingdom’s laws allows the female to inherit the throne, her future would be being married off to whoever their parents chooses, but the Kingdom of Italy was mostly different. Princess Sara’s fate was in her hands, but her parents have the absolute right to find a suitable man for her and it would be up to the princess to say yes or no.

It would have been fine, given the circumstances, but there was something that the King and Queen were missing about their children.

“I know, but I can’t help but not trust men with the safety of my sister, especially foreign ones.” Michele explained.

Yuuri raised a brow at that, “And yet, you allow me to interact with the princess both formally and informally.”

Michele blushed, remembering that Yuuri was also a foreigner and a man. “Not like that! I meant I can’t trust her around a suitor who I haven’t even met yet, and they expect me to be civil and give him a chance.” He explained.

“Maybe because you scare and threaten them.” Yuuri pointed out, “And this time, the Princess has told you to stay clear of their date, so you will have to respect her wishes. After all, she did approve of your relationship with Captain Nekola, didn’t she?” he stated, mentioning the captain of Phichit’s vessel.

“I guess so…” Michele muttered.

“Besides, Prince Michele, do you really think she will accept a proposal of marriage from _a man_?” he asked with an amused smile. “It would be far more interesting to see them fail in winning over Princess Sara instead of making them running away because of you, isn’t it?”

Realization dawned on the prince as he deciphered what he meant to convey to him. “Oh.”

“Indeed,” Yuuri said as he used his books and weight to push the young prince towards the corridors, away from the garden, “Now come along, wouldn’t want a servant to see you here and tattle your parents that you have been stalking the date again. I’ll allow you making me your scapegoat in passing by here and in exchange, we will work on your magic dueling skills.”

“But I can’t beat you with the spells I have yet!” the prince complained.

“Then I suggest you learn while I defeat you.”

Later that day, Princess Sara would be shocked to learn from the servants that her twin brother has spent the entire day with Professor Yuuri instead of stalking the date. She would be grateful the next day during her session with him, as he had been the one to prevent the young prince from getting into trouble. Yuuri knew that the princess knew about him saving her brother in that ordeal, and she would be happy to note that she rejected the marriage proposal of that ‘pompous fool’ as she had put it.

Yuuri smiled at the veiled sign of thanks from the princess and the prince. It was one of the things he loves about his current life. He has a wonderful job, wonderful friends, a somewhat mentor and students who value his very presence into their lives.

Somehow, he thought, the feeling that he has now was very nostalgic, as if he has done this once before. Shaking his head, he willed the thought out, preferring to live in the present instead of wishing for his past.

Two weeks later, his past would resurface the form of yet another storm.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Memories they haunt his mind**

**Save him from the endless night**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_“You may defeat me in terms of dueling, but I am not above playing dirty.”_

_“No! Don’t hurt them!” Yuuri heard himself plead to the dark figure who was holding down his men with gravity._

_“Then surrender. Do not fight me, and I wouldn’t throw them overboard.” A monotonous voice bargained him. “Just one word, and they would be safe.”_

_“Your Highness! Don’t listen! We swore allegiance to you and we will die if we have to just to save you!” he heard his captain shout even though half his head was pushed to the ground by an unknown force._

_“SILENCE!” the voice growled and the captain writhed in pain at whatever the figure was doing to him. “I have their lives in my hands. Surrender or they die a painful death. I assure you, I will not be quick about it.”_

_Yuuri felt himself clench his fist in frustration. He should have known this would happen the moment he stepped out of the kingdom without any additional security. He was assured that no one would pay him any mind if he left silently and just come back like he had not left at all. Such is the foolishness of someone like him._

_He wanted to fight back, of course he did, but with the figure holding the lives of his crew and the fact that they were in the middle of a storm, he had no choice in the matter. Better he die than an entire crew with families._

_“Alright. I surrender. I’ll go with you.” He decided._

_The figure smirked. “Excellent.”_

_“Your Highness!” the crew shouted in grief. “Do not lay your life for us! We beg you!”_

_Yuuri turned to his crew and smiled sadly, “My conscience would not take it if I was the reason for your demise. When you get back, tell them I’m sorry.”_

_In a single snap, the crew was freed from their restraints while Yuuri felt his body being bound by some unknown force. The figure appeared behind him and whispered. To him:_

**_“I’m sorry it has come to this.”_ **

_The last thing he had seen before he blacked out was him being flown away from his crew, his ship, far away from him._

Yuuri’s hand was shaking as he scribbled the words in his journal. He knew that his dream was getting more vivid than the last, and he didn’t know if he was feeling terrified or angered at the development of the dream. No, it was not a dream. It was most definitely a memory. The memory before the rest of it had been sealed in his mind. When at first they were mere flashes of scenes, now there were voices, voices that he recognized yet cannot identify.

He didn’t notice that he was crying until Victor had flown in front of him and started pecking at his hand, demanding him to put down his quill and stop writing, seeing that it was making him upset beyond what he was used to seeing with his master. He looked back and forth at the tear stained journal and Victor a few times before he released the quill form his hands and did breathing exercises, as if he was having another anxiety attack. He didn’t know how long he sat there, but clearly, outside, the storm had subsided, unlike when he woke up that morning when it was still raging on.

Why was everything being triggered by a storm?

Venezia was a constant recipient of powerful storms, which was why most of the infrastructures of the town was made to endure it, and the townspeople knew well enough not to venture into them. For the citizens, the storms were a normal part of their lives. For Yuuri, however, every storm meant remembering the only memory of his past he could recall, and that was moments before they were sealed. It was also unfortunate that his mind and body were not as enduring as the homes of the town.

Reviewing what he had written, he had come across what would seem to be the golden egg in this mystery. The captain and the crew called him _Your Highness._

What did that mean? Was he born of royalty or married to one? Where was his wedding ring then when Phichit found him? His friend had assured him that all they found with him were the clothes on his back and a handkerchief with the embroidery of his name, which was how Phichit knew what to call him. What if there was more to it than the first time he had come to himself on that day?

Victor, worried for his master, pecked him on the hand gently, gesturing him to look at him. Yuuri did so and saw that his familiar was getting worried about him. “I’m sorry again Victor. You should be used to me waking up like this, but I still feel sorry to disturb your sleep.”

Victor hooted and perched himself on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring hoot. The man chuckled at his effort to make him feel better. Victor must have been troubled via the bond because of his roller coaster emotions that happened from the moment he woke and he had finished writing in his journal. Standing up to his closet, bringing Victor with him, he knelt down to the floor and took out a wooden box that he has kept under lock and key for the past two years.

Victor hooted in question and Yuuri opened the box for Victor to see. In the box were black tattered traveling clothes with the name _Yuuri K._ embroidered in silver on the inside of the hem of the shirt. “This is what I was wearing when Phichit found me two years ago,” Yuuri told the owl as he took out the shirt and felt the fabric. It was soft to the touch, and Phichit had told him that his clothing was of the highest quality of fabric, maybe tailored specifically for him. “I could have thrown this away, but that didn’t sit well with me.” He told the owl. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it, and I don’t know why…”

Victor then extended his neck to peck at the hem. Yuuri chuckled at his curiosity. “Along with my handkerchief, this is the only item I have of my past, though I’m not really sure what the K in my name stood for, so everyone just called me Yuuri and nothing else. Despite that, the King and Queen welcomed me and trusted the education of their children to me after I have proven myself capable. I wonder why though?”

The King and Queen are very private people, even towards their children, but one thing was for sure, they wouldn’t approve of Celestino’s choosing of him if he was any danger to their children. Yuuri had ways believed that the couple are more perceptive than they let on. Despite opposition from the local scholars of the kingdom who coveted the position, Yuuri proved himself skillful and knowledgeable in both academics and magic, which hit two birds with one stone in the education of their children who possesses magic as they did.

“What do you think Victor?”

As a reply, the owl merely nuzzled its beak on his cheek, saying, _‘I think you need to relax a bit and stop thinking.’_ Before it flew back to his perch beside Yuuri’s bed to sleep.

“Yeah, I guess I do need sleep.” Yuuri said as he closed up the box and placed it back at the bottom of his closet.

But before he could go back to bed, a humming sound was heard by the two of them in his room. Yuuri turned his head to his vanity, where the mirror was humming with magic, as much as Yuuri could see the waves it was emitting.

Donning his robe, he immediately went to his vanity and sat down, and Victor followed suit on the perch attached to the furniture.

“It’s a Mirror Call,” Yuuri observed as he waved his hand to approve of the connection via magic. The reflection rippled and in a few moments, he saw the face of Celestino, who was in a grand bedroom. He must have arrived at the venue of the Gathering.

“It’s not like you to wake me up at this hour, Celestino,” Yuuri said. “It’s past midnight here.”

“I’m sorry about that Yuuri. I was just going to inform you that I’ve arrived. I’ve forgotten about the time difference from Venezia to The Hague.” He apologized. “Have things been running smooth since I was gone?”

Yuuri nodded his head and smiled. “Nothing to worry about. I’m fine here.” He informed him. “What about you? Is the Gathering starting soon?”

“Not yet, but they’ll send us first the files about the case and the like before it begins in twenty-four hours.”

From behind the sorcerer, a butler had handed him a folder that contained the files. It was a bit on the thicker side, much to Yuuri’s surprise. “Must be quite an offense.”

“It is. I was informed beforehand that the victim of the accused is quite high-profiled.” He said as he opened the file.

Yuuri became concerned the moment Celestino’s eyes widened and furrowed not a second later upon reading the file far from Yuuri’s eyes. He seemed shocked, as if he knew who it was. He was silent for a moment, and that got him worried. “Celestino, is everything alright?”

The man looked back at him in recognition, but there was something else there that he was not reading well, as if it was of disbelief. Coming to himself, the older man shook his head. “Nothing. The case is just…too heavy.” He excused. “It’s too complicated.”

“I’ll let you off then. Be sure not to be stressed about it.” Yuuri reminded him.

“I will.” Yuuri was about to cut the call when Celestino spoke again. “Yuuri…when Phichit found you…you really do not recall anything? At all?” he asked.

The younger sorcerer raised a brow at the question but decided to humor him. “No. I can’t remember anything, even my name. Had Phichit not showed me my name on my clothes, I wouldn’t have known.” he explained.

The man was silent for a while and nodded his head, albeit weakly, “I see. Nevermind. I’ll see you in two weeks.” Celestino bid and cut the call.

Yuuri waved at the mirror to dispel the link. “I wonder what that was all about?” he wondered as he looked at Victor who shrugged and flew back to his favorite perch and made himself comfortable, a gesture that says, _‘Let’s call it a night.’_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**And when the golden sun arises far across the sea**

**The dawn will break as darkness fades forever we’ll be free**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Look what I have Yuuri!” Phichit had dragged him along with his familiar towards the wagon of his new haul. “I just got back from the Three Ice Kingdoms of the North and got to trade with all of them!” he bragged.

Yuuri looked at the large wagons being carried down by his crew and Captain Emil Nekola was counting them to make sure everything is out. “Master Chulanont shopped until he dropped at the three capitals, you know.” He informed Yuuri. He saw various items in the wagons, warm coats from medium to high quality (for his more picky and noble customers), toys and ornaments, Yuuri was almost scared that Phichit would not be making any money. But who was he kidding? Phichit Chulanont can make you sell your own house for one of his wares if he wanted to. His crew had seen it personally.

“I can see that.” Yuuri said. “How long will it take you to sell them all?”

Phichit grinned. “Silly Yuuri, I already started the moment I left the capitals! I already sold most of my shopping spree in my first two port of calls!”

“You did what?!” Yuuri said, shocked. He was impressed, don’t get him wrong, but for Phichit to make a fortune using wares from the North alone… “Wait. What am I thinking, of course you could pull this off.” How foolish of him. Phichit Chulanont was on the path to becoming the richest merchant from the Southeast. One month and a week since he had last seen him, he was now making an even bigger income than last year.

Phichit grinned victoriously, “And I even set aside things for everyone’s birthdays. Just you wait Yuuri, you’re going to love what I bought you!”

“My birthday is not until November. You plan ahead too much.” Yuuri chided, but delighted. Phichit always gives the best presents, what with him travelling all over the world.

“Hush now. When will Celestino be back? I need to speak to him about certain matters.”

“Not for another two days, what are you talking to him about?” Yuuri wondered.

“I’ll tell you after I speak with him. For now, I’ll be here for two weeks to sell all my Northern wares. If I’m going to win the bet with Guang Hong and Leo, I will sell all of them here!” he said with a determined glint in his eyes.

“Okay then…” Yuuri chuckled at his enthusiasm.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Celestino and Phichit were acting weird. Not supernatural weird, but weird in a sense that Celestino and Phichit were giving him hesitant looks, even the twins had noticed. This was the same thing he was subjected to two years ago, but now, when he had grown close to them, it was weird for Yuuri, and he hopes it would cease and they would explain it soon. Even Phichit was not that secretive towards him before.

But when he saw Phichit sneak into Celestino’s study after avoiding him, well, it was the last straw.

Phichit had left the door ajar, so Yuuri heard what they were talking about.

“Are you sure that’s accurate?” he heard Celestino ask him. “We would come off as frauds if their own investigation does not coincide with ours.”  

“My own investigation pointed me to the same direction as you did back in your Gathering.” Phichit replied. “There’s no mistake about it. You have to contact them.”

He heard Celestino groan in frustration, “We have to tell them. I was hesitant in telling while I was in The Hague since I have little proof, but now that you said that the trail brought you there, it’s the only answer we could come up with.”

“Ciao Ciao,” Phichit called him by his nickname, “I do think we have to tell Yuuri first. He’s been suspicious since you arrived yesterday, and I’ve been here long enough for him to warrant that.”

“How do we tell him though? He might blow this out of proportion.”

That was when Yuuri decided he needed to make himself known. Opening the door with a loud thud, he stared at the two who were startled to see him. “Why don’t I give you an advice? Just call me and tell me properly that you have something to tell me.” He said as he glared at them, intent on letting them know that he was not pleased with secrets being hidden right under his nose.

“Yuuri…” Phichit muttered. “I…we…” he sighed. “I’m sorry we kept this from you, but believe us, we were shocked at what we found too.” He started. “Please, let us explain.”

Despite being angry at them, Yuuri couldn’t help but forgive his friend in their secrecy. Surely there was a reason, but depending on the answer, he might not be pleased. Crossing his arms across his chest, he looked at them. “I’m listening.”

Celestino nodded and waved his hand, in which caused the door to be closed and locked. “What we will tell you might be something you would not believe. I implore you to keep an open mind about it.”

Yuuri nodded, and Phichit started. “Let’s start with this.” He said as he gave him the handkerchief that he borrowed from Yuuri. Yuuri took it slowly and gazed at the silver embroidery of his name _._ “As I planned, I not only went to get some wares in the three Great Ice Kingdoms in the North, but I also asked around professional tailors who knows this kind of design. I found them on Saint Petersburg in the Empire of Russia.”

“Russia? So this was made there?” Yuuri demanded.

Phichit nodded. “According to the tailor, Georgi Popovich, he was the one who embroidered the name in your handkerchief, as well as a few other hundred Yuuris that resides in the capital alone…”

Yuuri felt his heart drop. “So it was just a small lead?”

“No.” Phichit corrected. “He had said something when he recognized his handiwork. He has done many others, but he only embroider names in gold.”

That earned him a raised brow. “But the embroidery is silver!”

“I know. That’s why he went all lunatic all over me and told me that he only embroidered silver characters for one particular family.” He stated. “He even grabbed my collar in his demand.”

“Get to the point, Phichit.” He pleaded.

“The silver embroidery that he does are exclusive only to the House of Nikiforov.” Phichit revealed, eyes hesitant and worried at the reaction his friend might let out.

Celestino was fast enough to conjure a couch right behind Yuuri when his legs felt like jelly and collapsed on it, the handkerchief clutched on his hand as he stared at the embroidery on it. The House of Nikiforov? Who was he to be born or married into the _Royal Family of Russia_? Some kind of commoner who got lucky? A noble foreigner that caught his eye? A half-national? Adopted? Who exactly is he? Clearly more than he thought he was.

“This is a dream. This is all a big foolish dream that is making fun of me in losing my memories…” Yuuri ran his free hand through his hair, careful not to hit his glasses.

Phichit knelt down and stared up at Yuuri. “Yuuri, I’m sorry for springing this on you, but this is not a dream. Please, all of this is real and no one is fooling you.” He pleaded. He was on the verge of having a panic attack, and Phichit was asking him to breathe in and out.

Yuuri felt like spiraling out of control. He felt like he was going to pass out anytime soon. He was about to give up his breathing exercises when he heard the frantic hooting of Victor. In a split second, he felt something drop on his chest. He tried to focus his sight on what was in front of him. It didn’t take long for him to focus on the fact that he was face to face with his owl who was staring at him in the eyes and was standing on his chest. It was there when he realized that he was lying down on the couch with Phichit and Celestino at a distance to give him breathing space, and maybe because Victor might attack them if he is unknowingly provoked.

Through the familiar bond, Yuuri could feel Victor’s soothing hoots, calming him down and preventing him from having a panic attack like he used to way before he discovered how the bond worked between master and familiar. Now he was sending him a message through the calming crooning of the owl. _‘All of this may be too much, but know that I am here to calm you down.’_

He didn’t know how long he was being soothed by the owl, but he knew it was long enough for Phichit to get him a pitcher of water that was laid down on Celestino’s desk.

Handing the glass once Yuuri sat upright, Phichit apologized. “I’m sorry. This must be too much for you to process…”

Yuuri took one gulp of the water before he had the energy to speak again. “I know.” He huffed. “What does that tell then? That I’m from that very family? The last I heard, the Nikiforov family is of Russian descent with no foreign blood in them for the past three generations.” Teaching world history to the twins made him aware of the fact that the House of Nikiforov almost never let foreign blood in their line. Such a thing was now deemed inconceivable.

“Yuuri. There is much that we have to tell you, but maybe we should postpone it to a day when you can take all the information you will hear.” Celestino said as he handed him a thick envelope. “Open this when you are ready to face who you are. We won’t force you to do anything, but just think it over, will you?” He assured him.

The weight of the envelope felt like lead in Yuuri’s hands. He hated deciding on his own about certain things, but this was about his life before now. This was the life he had left behind in exchange for a new beginning. He had the free choice of finding out who he was but never acted out on it in fear that he would find out that all of them might be dead, or they might find him changed. Looking at Phichit, he asked, “What…what did you tell the tailor when he asked you where you got the handkerchief from…?”

“I told him I got it from a traveling junk dealer. I lied to him and said I was just curious as to the origin of the wonderful embroidery and had wanted to do business with him the next time I am in the capital.” Phichit answered. “He didn’t look too pleased, but he let me go and went to business mode. I don’t know exactly if he will tell the family, but as soon as I left there, my men were ready to get out of the capital so we left before the day was out.” Yuuri didn’t need to ask Phichit why he did that. If the tailor really is in contact with his supposed family, they might send someone to watch or capture Phichit the moment they get suspicious of his intentions.

Nodding to himself, Yuuri stood up, and Victor perked up in attention and flew at his master’s side. “I…I need to go.” He said abruptly as he ran towards the door to his quarters. Celestino and Phichit had not the heart to go after him, knowing he needed time to process such an information.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Three days have passed since the revelation in Celestino’s study, but still, Yuuri didn’t have the heart to open the envelope that the older man had given him. The day after that, Yuuri had carried on as if nothing happened, prompting the two that he doesn’t want to talk about it, and hinted that he didn’t open the information that Celestino had handed to him.

Of course, that did not mean that no one noticed the somber mood that Yuuri had brought upon himself and those near him these past three days. The twins didn’t put any mind to it the first two days, thinking that it would pass, as they normally see Yuuri in that state when he is worrying about something.

But it came at a last straw during lessons. Princess Sara noticed while taking her test that Yuuri seemed to be out of it and was always deep in thought. She had been done with the exercises for the past five minutes, but Yuuri had been too out of it to notice that she had finished writing.

“Professor,” she called out.

When no reply was heard, she decided to tap him on the shoulder, “Professor?” Yuuri jolted in surprise as he saw the princess looking at him with a concerned face. “Professor, is there something wrong?”

“Ah...I’m alright, Your Highness.” Yuuri assured him.

“No you’re not,” Prince Michele objected as he settled the dueling book he was reading on the other side of the room. He too, knew that there was something wrong with the tutor, “Professor, you’ve been out of it for three days. You always seem to be deep in thought all the time that you tend to forget where you are, like when we dueled yesterday, I almost singed your face had I not warned you to dodge.”

Upon hearing the concerns of his students, shame flooded Yuuri at his carelessness. How could he be so insensitive of the people around him? He was so focused in debating with himself whether he should find out who he is or not by opening the file that Celestino had given him. He had been so preoccupied about everything regarding it that he ignored the looks that everyone gave him, full of worry on whether or not he would be alright.

Sagging his shoulders in defeat, he smiled at them weakly, “I’m sorry if I made the two of you worry. Rest assured, I’ll take care of my personal matters quickly and will be sure not to reflect it to everyone in the vicinity.” He assured them.

The two just sighed in frustration. “That’s not it, Professor.” Princess Sara stated. “Please, whatever it is, I hope it gets resolved soon.”

Yuuri could only nod in promise.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It took one week for Yuuri to open the files.

Yuuri had locked himself in his room on his day off. He had asked not to be disturbed by anyone. The only company he accepted was Victor’s, as the owl refused to make him face the information on his own. The owl was very vocal about his objection in sending him out to fly while he dealt with it on his own.

Even though he locked himself in his room all morning, all he could do was stare at the envelope like it would suddenly spring alive and grow deadly claws or razor-sharp teeth and eat him in one gulp.

But he knew he needed to see this. For the past few days, he had thought about his past life more than he had the past two years. He had simply not cared that he had left behind a life and had started a new one after three months of trying to find out if he could get his memories back. Now that he thought about it, he thought that he was being a little selfish. He was being insensitive. While he was starting his new life, there might have been someone out there who has been searching for him for the past two years, and who probably gave up thinking that he was dead.

Yuuri caressed Victor whose perch was just beside him, after moving it to his side. “For the sake of my peace of mind, I have to find out who I am.” He told him.

Victor reveled in his caress and hooted while pointing his beak at the desk saying, _‘Then find out now!’_ at him.

With no one to stop him, Yuuri opened the envelope that he had been dreading and saw that there were multiple folders. Picking the one on the front, he braced himself to what he would see. When he opened the folder, the only thing he could do was stare in shock, paralyzed. There, on the file were pictures of him, looking elegant and sophisticated in his slicked back hair and an unfamiliar soft brown eyes. From his childhood to his adolescence, there were pictures of him in close up, full body, in family and group pictures, and in his recent years, he noticed that there were pictures of him with a man with silver hair, as if they were rarely seen apart. The only difference was that they seem to sometimes be with a teenager with blond hair. He noticed that he was frequently wearing black robes with crystal embellishments on them, and while he was with the silver haired man, he wore a circlet with the same small crystals.

What surprised him more than his pictures was the information he was scanning. Each information making his heart stop.

**Name: HRH Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov**

**Title/s:**

**Prince Consort to Tzar Victor Abramovich Nikiforov of the Russian Empire (married: June 20, 2013)**

**Court Sorcerer of the Russian Empire (appointed: February 10, 2012)**

**Tutor to Yuri Sergeiovich Plisetsky and Mila Babicheva (March 25, 2010-September 24, 2016)**

**Apprentice to Empress Minako of Japan (November 30, 2000-November 31, 2009)**

**Date of Birth: November 15th 1993**

**Date of Disappearance: September 24th 2016**

**Age: 23 (at the time of disappearance)**

**Place of Birth: Hasetsu Town, Fukuoka, Empire of Japan**

**Parents: Lord Toshiya Katsuki and Lady Hiroko Katsuki of the Katsuki Clan**

**Sibling/s: Lady Mari Katsuki (Older Sister)**

**Godmother/Mentor: Empress Minako of Japan**

**Child/ren: Yuri Plisetsky (adopted: April 21, 2014)**

**Case:**

**HRH Consort Yuuri Katsuki was to sail from Saint Petersburg to Tokyo in the Empire of Japan to attend the wedding of Lord Takeshi Nishigori and Lady Yuuko Ashikaga aboard the Royal Vessel, Makka.**

**Captain Mikhail Babichev and his crew claimed that they were attacked by a sorcerer which they could not recognize due to enchantments. The sorcerer was reported to have been engaged in battle against Consort Yuuri and when it was imminent that the attacker would lose, it used the entire crew as bargaining chips in order to capture the royal consort.**

**He had accepted the bargain and was taken by the sorcerer but not before it destroyed the vessel but left the boats intact to row back to Saint Petersburg, in which the crew reached in the span of twelve hours.**

**Search parties were sent by Tzar Victor to find his husband, and when six months passed, the King ended the search but never declared Prince Consort Yuuri as dead, merely missing.**

**Upon investigation, it is found that the Sorceress Anya Marinovskaya is involved in the attack of the vessel he was in.**

At that point, Yuuri has had enough and snapped the file close and dropped it carelessly at the desk with a loud thud, startling Victor in his perch. The owl was about to protest when he saw his master covering his face in distress and disbelief about what he had read. The owl, being perceptive and sensitive to the roller coaster emotions of his master, knew that his master was not taking the information that he had learned in the papers.

Attempting to calm him, he crooned his head to nuzzle his neck. It took a few moments before Yuuri went back to his senses and saw that his familiar was once again, calming him for the second time this week.

“Victor…” Yuuri murmured as he looked at his familiar. He then stared back at the file that revealed his identity. From the pictures of him that was now scattered across the table and the information about the family that made him warm all over, he knew that it was really him.

There was no mistaking it. He was Yuuri Katsuki.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Where’s the one he used to know**

**It seems so long ago**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**To Be Continued**


	2. What I Did

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shame, regret and grief were the greatest emotions that Yuuri has been feeling ever since he found out who he was. It was not easy, believing what he had found out about himself, and ever since then, he knew that setting aside his past life was the wrong decision. 
> 
> With a choice made for himself to find out if he really was what he thinks he is, he has to leave the confines of Venezia and set sail to where he is supposed to be, but it seems that Fate is not amused by him taking it slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally done! This took longer than I anticipated, but it really came through!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this~!

**Chapter 2: What I Did**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yuuri stirred to the sound of his bedroom door being banged on the other side. He tried to mute the noise that is being made to wake him and get him to get up from his comfortable bed.

On his bedside was a ruffled silver owl who is also trying to get a proper shut-eye from all the disturbance in the room.

“Yuuri! Yuuri, open the door, please!” he heard Phichit beg from the other side of the door. “I know you’re awake. Please, just answer so we’ll know you’re still alive!” the voice of his friend sounded desperate that he found himself sitting up from worry.

He had been locking himself up in his room since yesterday, after opening the first of the file. After that, he had simply stayed in his room the entire day, and had sent a servant to notify the prince and the princess that he would be postponing their lessons for the rest of the week due to personal circumstances.

Upon them reaching his message, they must have alerted Celestino, and in turn, the older sorcerer notified Phichit as well on the situation.

It wasn’t uncommon for Yuuri to postpone his lessons. What was uncommon was that it would take the rest of the week, which meant that whatever happened to Yuuri, it was bad enough for him to ask for the rest of the week off.

He was not wrong. The problem was that he was emotionally unstable right now, added to that, he was not really in the mood to teach when he knew his thoughts would only hinder him in educating the royal twins.

With another round of knocking (banging) on his door, he had to relent because Victor was getting antsy, and when the owl is antsy, he will attack the next human he sees aside from his master.

Not wanting to get up on his feet, he did the only thing he taught his students not to do when feeling lazy. He used magic on opening the door, startling Phichit who let out a squeak when the door suddenly sprang open. Upon seeing Phichit, Yuuri returned to laying down on his bed, wishing everyone would just leave him be. “What is it? I thought you were supposed to be on your way to Santorini right now.”

Phichit frowned. “I had Captain Emil do business on my behalf. You’re more important than sailing there, Yuuri!” he reasoned as he entered the room and sat at the foot of his bed. “What happened? Celestino said that you postponed your lessons for the rest of the week for unknown reasons yesterday.”

Yuuri grumbled into his pillow. “You know the reason why. Look at my desk.”

Feeling the weight at the foot of his bed disappear, he knew that Phichit stood up to see the files on the desk. “You only opened the first file?” he asked as he perused the photos.

“I was in too much shock to go on. If I did, Victor would have been screeching his head off while he looked for help either because I was having an anxiety attack or fainted.” Yuuri defended. “And besides I…” Yuuri started to stutter. “I-I feel so s-selfish.”

Phichit didn’t need any explanation on the matter, being the one to ask him two years ago on why he chose to simply give up in learning who he was. The merchant heaved a sigh and went back to the foot of the bed. “Yuuri. Whatever you are feeling right now, it’s only normal. But avoiding it forever will not make it go away, now that you know who you are.” When Yuuri did not reply, Phichit decided to give up on the matter.

“I’m sorry if this is giving you a lot to think about.” He started. “We’re sorry if we forced you to find out who you were. We thought it would bring you closure from your nightmares, but as it seemed, we only worsened your state of mind.”

Yuuri peeked from his sheets to see that his friend had his head down, eyes looking at the floor with the face of regret written on his face. Phichit was blaming himself that he ever brought up his real identity and investigating it to begin with weeks ago. This was not Phichit’s or Celestino’s fault. It was his for deciding not to pursue his desire to find out who he was, and was content in the life he was building for himself despite his inner want to just get up and leave for wherever he belonged.

He was feeling even guiltier seeing Phichit’s face. A sad look in the face of his best friend was a crime in itself, for no one would dare make him sad. Yuuri felt like his entire crew would skin him alive once they hear that he had managed to upset their boss.

Making up his mind, Yuuri reached out to clasp Phichit’s hand with his own, giving it a tight squeeze. The brightening of Phichit’s eyes indicated that his message has been received and understood.  _‘I don’t want to see you so sad.’_

“Yuuri…” Phichit muttered, and to Yuuri’s surprise, tears started to stream from the eyes of the Thai. The sudden flow of his tears indicated that Phichit was worried as hell for someone like Yuuri with a lot of issues, and that bothered Yuuri even more.

Getting up from his bed to wipe away the tears, Yuuri then spoke, “Phichit, I’m sorry if I made you worry, please stop crying,” he pleaded.

“But…but…” Phichit sniffed, “It’s my fault for pushing!”

Yuuri shook his head, “This would have still gotten to my attention since Celestino came from the Gathering. I’m sorry if I accidentally made you feel like all of you were at fault for this…”

“So…you’ll go through with this?” Phichit finally asked.

In reply, Yuuri glanced at the documents that were still on his desk. “If I can live in peace in knowing this, then that would be a yes.”

There was no hesitation, no fear and no reservations on how Yuuri replied to Phichit. That was when he realized that yes, he was going to find out what happened to him and how he ended up stranded in the middle of the sea.

He was going to find out what happened in his past.

For the first time, Yuuri felt assured that this was the best course of action to take.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sifting through the case file, Yuuri found himself too entranced with the photos while Phichit was perusing all of his relations in the course of his first twenty-three years of life. He didn’t want to see anything that would shock him too much, so Phichit took it upon himself to summarize what he was looking at while Yuuri was busy staring at the numerous pictures of his younger self.

“Wow Yuuri, if this is really you, then you have a lot of connections within two countries.” He mused. “The godchild of the Empress of Japan  _and_  the Consort of the Tzar of the Russian Empire. Wonderful connections.” Phichit said, but somehow took a curious glance at Victor who was also sneaking glances at the files he was holding.

“Which might also be the reason why someone wants me dead.”  Yuuri concluded as he showed him the photo in his hand, “As the Tzar of Russia, that would mean that a lot of noble families from across the globe had tried to get their daughters and sons married to him, had it not been for the fact that for the past three generations, they believed that they do not marry their children to other nationalities. Him marrying me must have caused an uproar in the Russian Court.”

“And when it is made certain that you are dead, many of his suitors who are still not married by then would grab the chance to flock him in hopes that he would consider remarrying.” Phichit added. “Which is technically almost impossible considering the history of the family.”

“What?” Yuuri asked.

Phichit hummed, “According to history—yes Yuuri, I listen to history—even if the Tzar or Tzarina is widowed early, none of them had ever remarried. Even if the current ruler is without a direct heir, they have cousins and nephews and nieces that are available to be raised as the next ruler. It would seem that the members of the House of Nikiforov are romantics at heart.”

Yuuri found himself blushing at the thought of being loved to the point that when he dies, he would be the only one for that person. Even worse, he was thinking about the Russian Tzar. He would admit that the Tzar was a catch for everyone, but knowing himself, there must be something about him other than his face and rank that attracted Yuuri to the monarch to the point that he ended up  _married_  to him.

“What about…do they have any other information on the day that I disappeared?” he asked.

Phichit nodded and picked up a sheaf of papers and read it, “According to this, you were supposed to attend the wedding of your childhood friends back in Tokyo. You were scheduled to arrive two days before the wedding, but when the day of the wedding came and you still hadn’t arrived, they feared the worst.”

“Not too far off from the mark then.” He commented.

“Still not ringing any bells?”

Yuuri shook his head, “None at all, but I do feel like I’ve known them for a long time, but I can’t recall a single memory of ever spending time with these people,” Yuuri replied as he looked at the photo of Nishigori Takeshi and Nishigori Yuuko, formerly Ashikaga Yuuko. They were in their traditional wedding clothing and looked every bit as regal as any Japanese noble families do. Looking at their eyes, it was obvious that they were happy in their step into marriage.

Grunting, Phichit tapped his chin. “Stupid mind seal. Should it not be there in your head, then you would have remembered them in a heartbeat…” he mumbled.

“But for how long will I be able to be kept under wraps?” Yuuri wondered. “Now that the one who made my handkerchief know who you are and what you had in your possession while you were in Saint Petersburg, he’s bound to tell the family that you have a piece of my belongings.”

“Come to think of it, before I left, I thought for sure the Russian authorities would have stopped my voyage back.” The Thai explained. “I have a feeling this will come to bite me in the back soon.”

“We’ll get there when we get there.” Yuuri decided. “From all of the information that has been provided, they already caught the culprit, didn’t they?”

Phichit nodded as he turned to the desk to pick up the paper that identified the criminal that had been subjected to the Gathering. “Sorceress Anya Marinovskaya.” He said. “Ring any bells?”

“None at all.” Yuuri said even as Phichit handed her the photo of the woman.

“Born from a family of sorcerers who serves a single noble family for the past five generations, she studied under the tutelage of the Advisor Yakov Feltsman. Private investigation shows that she was not at the place where she was supposed to be on the date of your voyage when you disappeared. According to the events of the Gathering, she’s found guilty and is currently in a detainment chamber in stasis.”

Yuuri’s head became downcast, “Her time has been frozen until I can be found.” He concluded. “What of the noble family she is serving?”

Phichit shook his head, “It doesn’t say anything. Anya confessed to having a hand in your disappearance but said nothing more in the proceedings. She didn’t confirm or deny if this was an order from her master, and she didn’t say what involvement she has on your case. It’s like she’s sworn to secrecy.”

“Maybe she is.” Yuuri concluded. “It’s not too farfetched. A lot of magical societies and certain families can invoke that kind of vow, to never reveal certain things unless it costs them something. Even their lives.”

“That’s harsh!” Phichit protested. The thought of some sort of cult or family doing that to their sorcerers were too evil. While Phichit knew that the world was not as happy and lively as him, knowing such things was something that Phichit detests.

Yuuri nodded in agreement, “But that’s how the world is. Whoever invoked such a thing to Anya meant that they don’t want to be found out at all costs. The noble family she serves must have their lips sealed as well. Either that or Anya is working for someone besides her masters.”

Phichit hummed as he looked into the files more, “No one could make Anya talk during the gathering on whose orders she followed in your attack. She didn’t reveal where she dumped you, so nobody knew it but me, since I was the one who found you. She only confessed that she has a hand on everything.”

Somehow, Yuuri feels like he already knew what was going on, but without concrete proof, nothing can be done, unless…

“I need to head there.” He found himself saying before he could stop himself.

“Eh?!” Phichit screeched, startling even Victor. Yuuri has never spoken about leaving the borders of Italy before, let alone suggesting such a thing in the first place. Yuuri has always been fearful of the other countries, despite being a royal tutor. “To where? Back in Russia? Yuuri, the case isn’t closed yet. Someone might kill you on the spot there!”

“But it’s the only way for me to find out what happened.” Yuuri insisted, ignoring the fact that Phichit questioned his idea of leaving the capital.

“Not if there’s a risk of you getting killed once they notice you nearing the country.” Phichit stated. “Unless we go there covertly, I can’t think of anything that would warrant you to enter there without no one knowing who you are, what with you needing an identification and all…”

“And with me having no sort of identity at present…” Yuuri sighed in defeat as he remembered the reason why he never left the borders of the kingdom.

“Exactly.” Phichit stated. “Celestino and I pieced together what is happening, but even if he tells them that he might have found a lead on where you are, things might get complicated.”

“Credibility and truth is something that the Tzar and his family value the most. No one wants a liar in their midst.” Yuuri muttered. “I don’t know what to do anymore…” frustrated, Yuuri ran his hands through his hair.

Not wanting to see his friend this upset, Phichit clasped his friend’s shoulders, “Don’t worry Yuuri, I’ll find a way.” He assured him. “And we’ll do that once I finish selling wares here and I can take you along with me for the journey back as a part of my crew.”

Yuuri could only trust Phichit. He has no doubt that the Thai merchant was someone who does what he says.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Phichit was to stay for two more weeks when it happened.

Yuuri was in the middle of training with Prince Michele, while Princess Sara and Victor watching with rapt attention as Yuuri fired a series of spells towards Michele who was trying and almost failing at dodging them with the proper counter spells.

If there was something that Yuuri had over the noble scholars who wanted the position as a royal tutor, it was that the young sorcerer knew how to make them into fools by skillfully dodging and countering their spells, and the fact that he has an analytic mind that came with his finesse in dueling.

“Loosen your grip on your staff, Prince Michele.” Yuuri lectured as he dodged another paralysis spell sent by the young prince in his way. “You’ll restrain your staff movements if you keep this up.”

The young prince struggled as he tried to get a clear aim on his teacher, but the wizard’s fluidity in dueling was too much for his eyes. Yuuri tends to move to a different post right after dodging a spell, but never in the same pattern.

“You’re not really making me loosen my grip so easily, Prof.” Michele said as he pulled up a shield to block Yuuri’s strong magic. “Your attacks have a big impact, I might lose my staff.”

“Very good.” Yuuri nodded in approval as he sent another wave of spells towards him. The impact of his spell was enough for Michele to loosen his grip and flipped the staff to the other side of the room.

The twins whistled at the strength. “Wow Professor, you really are good,” Sara praised.

Yuuri smiled as he withdrew his own weapon, “Well, I have to be hard on you so that you two would be able to learn a lot from me.”

The Italian princess smiled as she looked back at her twin brother, “Mickey’s improving because of your teachings. It’s really impressive.”

Michele snorted, “Yeah right. Sometimes I feel like Prof’s guinea pig and he’s the one improving more than me.”

“Give and take,” Yuuri admitted lightly. He then turned to the clock on the desk at the far corner of the room. “We’ll end the practice session here, and resume the academic lessons tomorrow.” He advised them.

“Hey Professor,” Michele started, “Are you really sure of your plan on taking a leave of absence to trace your roots?”

Yuuri stopped short of putting away his staff and morphing it into a pendant that he always kept around his neck. “Where did you hear that?”

“Our parents.” The twins said in unison. “The other day they were worried that Celestino would not find a substitute for you while you were gone, and that’s when they let us in on the secret that you were bound to head out of the country to settle personal matters,” Sara explained.

Even before being introduced to the royal twins, the only ones who knew that he had a blank past were Phichit, Celestino and the ruling monarchs. The King and Queen of Italy are aware of the fact that Yuuri was an amnesiac and not from these lands and that Phichit was the one who took him in and guided him into creating a new life at their territory.

The memory loss was a large red flag to them upon introduction, but it seems that as time passed, Yuuri slowly felt that they could trust him to mold their children into respective adults.

It was all in the name of him creating a new life, but he felt like he was betraying the royal family that accepted him and allowed him near the royal twins by going back to where people are looking for him to either bring back or to ensure that he never comes back permanently.

Shrugging the thought off, he smiled assuring, “I won’t be gone for long.”

“If you say so,” Sara conceded as they all left the training room and went their separate ways.

Yuuri sighed as Victor swooped to land on his shoulder with a questioning hoot. “Don’t look at me like that.” Yuuri chastised as he nuzzled his finger on Victor’s lower beak.  “It’s better that they don’t know the full story.”

_‘Not really assuring.’_  Victor conveyed as he pecked the finger a bit too hard.

Yuuri chuckled as he glanced back at the corridor that would lead to his quarters. “Come on, Phichit is waiting at the Venezia Marketplace.”

Victor let out an annoyed hoot, showing displeasure that they would be going out of the castle.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A crowded place was not something people would associate with the Royal Tutor, but when the Merchant from the Southeast, Phichit Chulanont, is present, that was the only time the locals would gaze on the young man.

As Yuuri strolled through the marketplace, he took a little detour. He was not to meet Phichit for another hour, so to kill time, Yuuri had to go around to do some shopping for himself. While his residence is at the palace, he still had things that he does not want to bother the staff with, like his necessities. From the moment that he had agreed to reside in the palace, he bargained with Celestino that he would not impose on the staff and he would take care of his personal needs. There was nothing more embarrassing than not being able to pick up after yourself, especially when it has something to do with hygiene.

Stopping at a very familiar place with Victor perched on his shoulder, they entered Philip’s Menagerie, the pet store that Yuuri frequented to buy Victor’s own necessities. The moment he opened the door, he saw the shopkeeper and owner, Philip, who also doubles as the veterinarian for most of his customer’s pets and the ones that he takes care and sells in his store.

“Good afternoon Philip,” Yuuri greets the shopkeeper who was feeding the lovebirds on one of the cages.

The middle-aged man turned to see him and smiled, “Oh, Yuuri and Victor! I see you’re here for your orders.” He said, “Hold on a moment, I’ll get them from the storage room.” He told him and left for the back room. “Merchant Phichit is causing quite the fuss these past few days,” Philip commented.

“Oh? What for?” Yuuri wondered. “All I know is that he got his hands on Northern wares.”

“Not only that though,” Philip said as he came back with a large box that Yuuri knew contained Victor’s owl food and other necessities. “It seems that he’s attracting the attention of the Russian travelers who got here yesterday.”

At the mention of ‘Russians,’ Yuuri stiffened. “What?”

Philip tapped his chin, recalling something, “Well, two travelers started asking about Phichit, about what he does here and who his contacts are. Seems a bit stuffy for teenagers, but I told them what I only know in general. They did say something strange though.”

“What did they ask?” Yuuri dared ask.

“They asked if Phichit has anyone travelling with him that is a foreigner. Japanese, they asked specifically.” He recalled. It was unnoticeable to the naked eye, but Victor could feel his master shaking slightly at the mention of the nationality, and only paid minimal attention to what Philip was saying next. “I told them his crew is made up entirely of other nationalities, like Captain Emil, who is from Czech, so I don’t really know if he had any Japanese crewmates.”

“Oh…” Yuuri muttered.

“But I did tell them about you,” Victor and Yuuri froze in their place, but it seems that Philip didn’t notice it as he was packaging his orders, “How you came here to Venezia with Phichit and helped you settle down here two and a half years ago. They seemed to be interested in you, so I told them that I only know that the two of you knew each other before coming to live here.”

“Nothing else?” Yuuri inquired, not really trusting his voice to say anything more than that in fear that Philip might suspect something was not right. Of all things, he might suspect him as a criminal.

“Nope. After that, they asked for the nearest inn and left.” Philip finished as he handed Yuuri his orders. “That will be three hundred.”

Yuuri paid the due and left with Victor with his usual bid, and left for the marketplace to find his best friend. He had to tell him what Philip had encountered.

Coincidentally, Phichit was in the middle of leaving the rest of his wares to his staff while he goes on to meet him. His place was in the busiest part of the market, and that was something that Phichit had always liked to be. The center of attention, not to mention the center of gossip. It would seem that in every port he docks to sell his wares, everyone knows his name and adores him to no end.

The moment he saw the tanned man, he immediately ran towards him. “Phichit!” Yuuri called out.

Phichit turned from his stall’s manager and smiled, “Oh Yuuri! You’re here early.” He greeted.

Yuuri was trying not to sound panicked, but from the morphing worried look on Phichit, it seems that it was not working. “I have news. Let’s head to your cabin.” Phichit was about to protest, but the sense of urgency in Yuuri made him follow him anyway.

After sending word to his staff that they are to take care of his wares for the rest of the day due to something urgent, they headed back to Phichit’s vessel and went straight to his office/bedroom. After locking the office and Yuuri casting a soundproofing spell on the room, he sat down on the bed at the far right of the room where Phichit’s three hamsters’ cage were situated. Ultimately, Victor perched himself at the chair of Phichit’s desk.

“What’s going on?” Phichit wondered.

“I talked to Philip today while picking up Victor’s food and other necessities.” He stated.

A raised brow was all the Thai did, “And…? I don’t think talking to Philip is big news, considering you’ve been coming in his store for the past two years for Victor’s things.”

“Phichit, he told me that there were two Russian travelers asking about you.” He went straight to the point.

“So what? Everyone keeps looking for me for trades.” Phichit reasoned with a raised brow.

“No. I mean Russians who are asking if you are traveling with someone of  _Japanese origin_.” He stressed.

Phichit was still not getting it, something that frustrates Yuuri from time to time. “Come on Yuuri, the only one of Japanese origin I have traveled with was…oh… _oh_!” Phichit immediately understood as he revisited his words. “Oh shit.” He muttered.

“Indeed.” Yuuri said with a frustrated sigh. “Tell me, was no one really following you the last time you were in Saint Petersburg?” Yuuri asked.

“No one. At least, not that I did not notice, which is impossible.” Phichit reasoned, “Nothing gets past me.”

“Maybe this time, someone  _did_  get past you.” Yuuri concluded, “Because they’re here looking for us. The two of us.” He informed. “Philip said that they asked him if you were traveling with a man of Japanese descent, so of course, he said no. That was until he said something about me once being your travel buddy before settling down here.”

Phichit winced at the information. “Holy hell…” he heaved a sigh. “Two theories: one, they might be an envoy from the royal family to make sure that whatever the tailor told them was true and are following me in hopes to find a trace of you, and two, they’re the ones who are involved in your attempted disposal and caught sight of me with the said tailor and decided to follow me in hopes to find you and to silence you permanently.”

Yuuri groaned. “Tell me what happened in Russia.  _Now_.”

At the commanding tone of Yuuri’s voice, Phichit knew better than to disobey.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**One Month Ago**

**Saint Petersburg, Russian Empire**

Phichit shivered as he wrapped his thick coat closer to his body, hoping that more warmth would come to him.

Guang Hong and Leo didn’t warn him enough when they said that Saint Petersburg would be a  _little too cold_  for a Southeastern man like him who was used to the tropical climate. The Three Ice Kingdoms and their capitals were as cold as one hundred freezers turned on in a single room. He almost thinks that the two of them tricked him into underestimating the winter season of the kingdoms just to mess with him.

“It’s even colder than yesterday!” Phichit whined as he watched his men, who were also thickly clothed, bring in the Northern wares he bought to be sold on his next port of call. It was a good first run for Phichit, as he was able to trade with the citizens who were known to be so invested in unique pieces, especially those from the countries further south that were hard to come by, due to the strict mercantile laws of the Northern countries. He would be happy to say that the wares that he had brought to the Ice Kingdoms had been depleted by their citizens, and was definitely looking forward to trade with him the next time he comes.

Captain Emil looked at him with an amused face, “This is Saint Petersburg, Master Chulanont. It’s bound to be cold.” He said.

“How come you’re not freezing like me?” Phichit asked.

“My homeland has the same climate. I’d say I’m naturally immune to this level of cold. In fact, it’s not even that cold.” Emil informed him. “Wait until you experience a violent snowstorm.”  

Phichit groaned, “Ugh. I’m sooo glad we’d be out of here today…” he mumbled. “But I have something to take care of before we leave. Mind waiting for me?”

“Not like we could leave without you,” Emil returned with an amused smile. “Be careful. Saint Petersburg streets tend to be confusing if you don’t know where to go.”

“That’s why they invented a map.” Phichit said as he left his crew to their own devices and braved the busy streets of the capital.

He felt Yuuri’s handkerchief in his pocket, having been going around the city for the past couple of days trying to find the tailor who created the handkerchief. He tracked the origin of the fabric to Saint Petersburg after noticing that most of the fabric used by the noble ladies he had chatted with these past few days had the same quality as Yuuri’s. Complementing the ladies and asking them where they got their handkerchiefs, he was then directed at one of the most well-known places in the capital, Дом Попович, translated as  _House Popovich_.

According to the ladies, it is the only family of tailors that had been given the Royal Warrant five generations back by the Royal Family. It not only gave them a noble status, it also gained them publicity to their already flourishing business. Phichit had to admit, looking at the clothing of the nobles and middle-class that the family had sold their clothing and accessories to, they have been doing a wonderful job.

Heaving a sigh of composure, he entered the grand store and greeted the woman at the counter. It would seem that it was a slow day, what with it being the lean hours of the afternoon, so he was the only customer in the store right now.

“Hello young sir. What can I do for you?” the young woman greeted.

Phichit bowed slightly in greeting, “Good afternoon. I was wondering if you could help me with something.”

“That would depend on the help, sir.” The woman returned.

Phichit smiled good-naturedly and casually took out Yuuri’s handkerchief that was settled on a small brown box. “I was wondering if you recognize this fabric and the embroidery done. I asked around town who might be best to ask on this and it led me to this store.”

The young woman nodded and opened the box. Her eyes widened at the sight of the handkerchief that Phichit knew she recognized, especially when he saw her eyes trail at the embroidery. When the woman looked back at him, Phichit had to act innocent and as if he did not see her shift in emotion. “Would you happen to know where this came from?” the woman asked.

Phichit nodded. “I found it in one of my trade routes. It was being sold by a junk dealer, if I recall.” He lied. “He had a lot of wares on him, but this was the one that caught my eye since the design was so unique and not seen in my country, so I had to have it, but before I decide to do anything with it, I had to at least know where this one is from.” He explained.

He could tell that the woman was on the verge of demanding questions to him, but Phichit had already made her see that he knew nothing of where the fabric came from. With a stiff nod, she motioned at the back, “Wait for a few moments sir, I’ll need to inform Lord Popovich of this. He might know something.” She said as she scurried away to the back of the shop.

With a sigh of relief, he decided to act casual about the whole ordeal, wanting to look like he knew nothing about the owner of the handkerchief. This was the first step into finding out about who Yuuri was, and he would gladly be arrested should that be needed.

He only needed to wait for a few minutes before a man in a purple tailored suit appeared at the back of the shop to the counter, the woman earlier nowhere in sight.

“My staff says you have brought something that might be from us?” the man asked.

Raising a brow, he replied, “I was only told to wait here. The lady earlier did not say that the piece I brought might have belonged to your store.” He replied casually, knowing that he was trapping him with words. “May I get your name?”

Stiffening like a nobleman would when he was caught off guard, he answered. “I’m Georgi Popovich, the owner of this establishment.”

“And I’m Phichit Chulanont. I’m a merchant from the Southeast.” He introduced. “I came here to find out where this item came from, and who made this.” he said as he slid the box to his attention where the handkerchief lay. “I found it in one of my travels and trades and am curious of its origins.”

Georgi looked at the handkerchief and picked it up. He ran his hands to the elegant damask patterns of the fabric and rubbed the seams. “The intricate weaving and the tell-tale signs of handmade fabric. Yes. This came from this very shop.”

Now they were getting somewhere. Phichit decided to press more into the matter. “Are you certain?”

“Of course.” Georgi assured. “I remember every tapestry, clothing and accessory I ever made, and the choice of pattern and color is definitely of my choosing. In fact…” the man then went silent when he flipped over the handkerchief.

All of a sudden, the room turned colder than the ice storm, as far as Phichit could tell. The eyes of Georgi turned glacial, and he knew why.

“Where…did you get this?” Georgi muttered.

“Excuse me?” Phichit asked back.

Big mistake, as the next thing he knew, Georgi was grabbing his sleeve and was forcing him to look at him in the eye, which was close to scary, if Phichit says so himself. “I’ll ask again. Where. Did. You. Get. This?” he stressed.

_‘He knows something.’_  Phichit thought instantly.

Not being one to be daunted by a stare, Phichit grabbed Georgi’s hand that was holding his sleeve and tore it away from him. “I don’t like the tone you are using on me, but to enlighten you on the subject, I found that with a traveling junk dealer who was getting rid of some of his things.” He replied. “Again, I came here to find out who owned it, because I found it strange that he was willing to part with this type of fabric for a third of its actual price.” He fibbed again.  

Tense silence followed soon after, the Russian noble looking at him in the eyes, as if searching for something deceitful. Phichit knew well enough to hide the fact that he knows something that he cannot trust Georgi Popovich to be aware of, and he was not taking his chances.

He was only taken out of his thoughts when Georgi backed off and heaved a heavy sigh. “I apologize.” Georgi stated as he looked back at the handkerchief that now shows the back, where Yuuri’s embroidered name was on. “This handkerchief…what did the owner look like?”

The Thai decided to act like he was recollecting his memories of the day. “Well…he’s a bit…I don’t know, muscly? He’s about six foot two and has a weird accent. For all I know, he could be disguised as someone else.” Phichit misled him quickly. “He needed funds to travel, so he sold that to me.”

At the devastation showing in his eyes, Phichit knew that something was coming into light. “I need answers. I’d like to know who owns this.” Phichit said, gesturing at the forgotten handkerchief.

Georgi looked back at the item once again and held it gently, “Like I have said, I remember every item I ever made. This one in particular, I knew the person well.” he told him. “I take commission embroideries, and most of them, I use gold.”

“But this is silver.” Phichit pointed out.

“Let me finish.” Georgi snipped. “I do most of them in gold, but for silver embroideries such as this, I do them for the House of Nikiforov.”

Phichit didn’t need to read too much history to know that Georgi was referring to  _the_  Royal Family of the empire. “The House of Nikiforov? How could you tell which is which? As far as I know, most of your people has that name, though I think there was a misspelling.” Phichit pointed out.  

Huffing as if his feathers were ruffled, Georgi continued, “While most of the citizens here in Russia has the birth name, Yuri, with a single ‘u,’ this particular piece is made for a different nationality.” He revealed, “I made this for the only Japanese man in the family. His name was Yuuri Katsuki.”

That was it. Phichit got his full name.

The first thing that sprang into his head was,  _“Yuuri is ROYALTY?”_  but he quickly shoved the thought for later. He had to act like he knew nothing.

“’Was’?” Phichit then raised a brow.

“He disappeared two years ago, and none has found him since.” Georgi explained. “He was the Tzar’s husband. A man from the Empire of Japan.”

At that point, Phichit’s jaw was about to drop. “Wait, the Tzar? As in…?”

“Yes. Our Tzar Victor Nikiforov.” Georgi confirmed.

_‘Well, now I know where Victor got his name from…’_  Phichit thought to himself as he calmed himself down. “What happened?” he dared ask.

Georgi sighed as he looked around his store except for him. “Tragedy. The Prince Consort was on his way back to his homeland for a visit when someone we thought could be trusted had done something. That person was very close to me, you see.” He said plainly. “I’m sorry, but the wounds are still fresh. One cannot simply erase the past two years of grief and pain.”

Phichit didn’t buy his reason. Judging from the tears that are threatening to spill from his eyes, he could tell that it was  _very personal_  on his side. Romantically, as far as he could tell.

“Interesting story.” Phichit said. “I can consider myself fortunate finding something like this, an item with a story to tell.”

“More of a history.” The tailor corrected him. “Now that you know the origin of the handkerchief, what do you plan to do with it?” he inquired.

Smiling calmly, Phichit replaced the handkerchief back in the box, “I’m going to keep it, of course. I’m a collector of unique items, and this one might be the best one I found yet, and that is saying something, as I have an Ancient Egyptian relic in my collection.”

“I see…” Georgi replied lamely.

He then looked back at Georgi who was trying and failing to make it look like he was not being emotional about the item. “For a moment, I thought you were going to take it away, considering that you did create this.”

Georgi shook his head, “You paid a price to attain the item. I have no right to take it from you even though I made it.”

“I’m glad you know the rules.” Phichit said fondly. He looked around at the store that showcases the beautiful creations of the Popovich family. “On my next travel, maybe I will find the chance to do business with you.” He stated. “But for now, I think knowing the origin of this handkerchief is enough.” He then placed the handkerchief back in the small box and took it with him.

Lips twitching a bit at the compliment, Georgi nodded. “I hope so too.” He stated. Phichit just turned to leave when he spoke again, “Another thing, young merchant,”

“Yes?” the younger man asked as he looked over his shoulder.

“Should you return here and the Tzar requests for you to return that item that you have, what would you do?” Georgi inquired.

_‘Ah. I see.’_  Phichit thought. He simply smiled at him and answered as simple as he can, “I’m a merchant, Lord Popovich. I think you know what I require to let go of this.” He said as he left the store entirely, and as he left, from the corner of his eyes, he saw two teenagers go past him and enter the store. He paid no mind to it and turned the other way.

He tried to walk as normally as he could, but the moment he was a few blocks away from the store, Phichit felt himself sprint away to head to his ship. Thoughts going to his head, he slowly put the pieces of the puzzle together to get one conclusion.

Yuuri didn’t get washed ashore because of a simple onboard accident. He was dumped in the middle of the ocean to die. Slowly.

And that was not the worse part.

Yuuri might be a victim of political intrigue, which could only mean one thing: once they see him again, they would not hesitate to finish the job.

It only took him mere minutes before he could see Captain Emil and his crew loading the last of his merchandise on the ship.

When Emil saw him, Phichit deemed it good to mask his panic at the thought of his best friend being in mortal danger in his husband’s country.

There was no doubt about who he was now.

He needed to speak to Celestino when he gets back from wherever he is.

The moment he got on the ship, he immediately told Emil to remove the gangway and to set sail to move on to their next port of call.

None of his crew paid no heed to his actions as they knew from experience that Phichit Chulanont was a very random man.

And that was how Phichit masked his panic at the thought of the situation that had gotten Yuuri to where he was two years ago.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Present Day**

“And that’s what happened.” Phichit finished.

By then, it was almost sundown when he finished recounting his tale.

Yuuri could only stare in disbelief at what had transpired in Saint Petersburg, but there was something missing. “Then if that’s all you remember, how come two teenagers are looking for you?”

Phichit huffed. “Most probably, his assistant at the store went on to warn the Tzar, and sent someone to track me, which might not be too far from the truth. From the rumor mill and the social butterflies I talked to there, Georgi Popovich is a close friend of the Tzar. He must have instructed her to inform him immediately.” He concluded.

“And we’re not saying he’s the villain because…?” Yuuri asked.

“From what I can see, that’s all there is to it, but somehow, his reaction on telling me about the Marinovskaya sorceress makes me think that they were at least in a relationship, and what she has done had broken him too.” Phichit explained. “I’m no shrink, but I’ve seen a lot of situations that involves the matters of the heart not to decipher it properly.”

Softening eyes at Phichit, Yuuri sighed. Other than being a talented merchant (and a gossip king), Phichit is known to be very perceptive of people’s feelings, a trait that was a great help in his ventures for the past few years. Standing up from the bed where he stayed rooted while Phichit spoke, he stretched his legs and looked at the sky with the setting sun.

“What are we going to do now, I wonder?” Yuuri muttered. “With them looking for me…how much longer before they realize that I’m residing at Venezia Palace?” he turned back at Phichit, “What if because of this, their Majesty’s reputation would be in danger?”

The House of Crispino and the kingdom in general has always been a very neutral and rarely associates with other countries, only mingling with a few countries that has ever landed in their ports, but even then, their reputation could be on the rocks once it is found out that they were unknowingly hiding the lost Prince Consort of Russia.

If that gets public…then it would cause unnecessary uproar.

“Then all we have to do is to tell the truth.” Phichit said. “In our defense, we only knew of who you are for just a few weeks.” He reasoned. “Knowing them, I’m sure they will understand.”

“I hope you’re right.” Yuuri said with a tired sigh.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Three days have passed since then, and Yuuri’s life felt like whirlwind. Telling the king and queen, and then keeping it a secret from the twins, and keeping watch about the two Russian teenagers that had asked about him the other day.

Suffice to say, the royals were quite surprised that they housed a Prince Consort on their domain, but since both parties have been unaware of his identity, they decided to keep housing him for his own safety as well until they find a way to fix things without war being on the horizon. The Kingdom of Italy was small in size compared to the Empire of Russia, and they would not even think of declaring war for a second if it meant keeping their citizens living a peaceful life. After all, they have just been barely recovering from a civil war two generations back.

For a second after telling the monarchs what might be the truth, he thought he was going to be kicked out of the kingdom, but the queen merely raised her brow and said,  _“Why must we fire you for the reason of finding out who you are? You have done a lot of good for the kingdom for the past two years, and I could never be grateful enough for what you have done to my children.”_

As Celestino had once said to him, many tutors have come and go when the royal twins refuses the tutors, deeming them as useless and too pompous, and one of them even flirted with Princess Sara. With Yuuri, their parents didn’t worry about anything as he was a respectable man, and they knew that Celestino would not vouch for someone who could not be trusted.

He believes that the development of the twins was the sole reason they did not kick him out of the kingdom yet, which he was very much grateful.

While the thought of leaving with Phichit to discover his roots heartbreaking, he needed to know what happened to him, and hopefully, he would be able to come to terms with what he had become and what he was.

Everything would be confusing, but he had decided to do this, and he will be sticking to it no matter what.

The day came when he had to leave with Phichit to sail back to Saint Petersburg, and Yuuri had been preparing for the trip ever since he perused the files. He had been clearing out his office when Celestino came in to help him take what he needed. Not long after, the twins also came in to help, reasoning that it was what they could do for now for their tutor who taught them so much.

“You know Yuuri, if you don’t return, I’d have to relive the nightmare that is looking for a new tutor for the twins.” Celestino stated as he cleared out Yuuri’s table.

Michele and Sara stared at him in disbelief. “Excuse us?” they said in unison.

“Will you be leaving permanently after the ordeal?” Sara wondered.

Michele went beside Sara, “You said you would only be gone for a while. Not that you intend not to return.”

Yuuri lifted his hands up in surrender, “It’s not like that.” He reasoned. “I’m tracing my roots yes, but I have no intention of leaving the two of you unattended.” He declared.

Celestino’s head immediately snapped up to look at him, ignoring the slight pain on his neck. “What?”

Yuuri sighed. “I don’t really see myself leaving the two of you in the middle of our lessons, right?” he reasoned. “If by any chance I would not be able to perform my duties as your tutor, then I’d find a way to.”

Sara smiled at his statement, “That’s really sweet, Professor.”

“By the way, what time did Phichit say the ship would sail out of Venezia?” Celestino wondered.

Yuuri turned to him, “He said we’d be leaving this afternoon. He prefers it to be warm when we leave instead of the morning and evening cold air.” He said with a small chuckle. “It seems his first trip to a cold climate really messed up his body’s sensitivity to cold.”

“He really hated the cold there? How cold is it in the Northern Countries?” Michele wondered.

“All he could say is that it’s ten times colder than our rare snowfall.” Yuuri informed. “Well, shall we get on with helping me put these away? I don’t want anyone in the house staff tumbling over my stuff when I’m not here.” He said with a huff.

They were about to continue on with the work when suddenly, a maid that often attends to Yuuri appeared at the door, catching her breath.

“Prof…Professor…” she said while heaving.

“Leonora. What’s the matter?” Yuuri asked, approaching her and supported her to keep standing.

“I was at the market getting supplies for tonight…when I saw Merchant Chulanont.” She said, staying as coherent as she could.

The mention of Phichit sent alarm bells to Yuuri. “What? What happened to Phichit?”

Leonora looked at him in the eyes, “He…he was detained by Russian soldiers and is now at the prison being questioned.”

“What?!” Yuuri said, eyes wide and looked at the twins for confirmation of this.

The twins were shocked. “What do you mean Russian soldiers detained him? And why was he brought here?” Michele demanded.

The maid shook her head, “I do not know, Your Highness, but according to the Captain of the Guards, the soldiers are being led by the  _Tsesarevich_.” She revealed.

At that, Michele stiffened. “What is the  _Russian prince_  doing here?!”

“You know him, Prince Michele?” Celestino asked.

“Of course I do.” Michele said, “I met him at one of the Banquet in Spain with Sara last year. He’s seventeen but he has a fiery temper.” He said with a sigh.

“What are you going to do, Professor?” Sara asked. When they all turned to Yuuri, everyone was shocked at what they saw.

Instead of trying to calm down Leonora, it was the other way around. They watched as Yuuri’s eyes widen and his entire body started to shiver at the information that he was receiving.

His best friend was detained.

And everything is being led by the Tsesarevich.

The heir apparent of Russia.

Yuri Plisetsky.

And if the files were right, he was his adopted son.

“…ri! Yuuri!” he was taken aback by his thoughts when he felt Celestino snapping him out of his trance. Upon coming to his senses, he saw that Leonora and the twins were looking at him in concern.

“I…” he mumbled. “I need to get there…I know why they have him.” he said as he stood up.

“We’re coming with you.” Michele declared. “I want to know how he got in here without any fanfare and off our radars.” No one needed to be a genius to know that Michele was seething at the thought of an outsider slipping into Venezia.

“Very well. I will speak to your parents right away.” Celestino said and turned to Leonora, “Return to your duties. We’ll take care of this.”

The maid only nodded and turned to attend to her duties, but not without glancing at the tutor with concern on her face.

“Yuuri, can you calm down for me?” Celestino asked.

Yuuri shook his head. “No. Right now, I’m confused. Why are Russian soldiers here without us knowing? And why is Phichit arrested?”

“That’s what we’re going to find out.” Sara stated as she turned to Michele, “Let’s get on ahead, Mickey. Professor, we’ll go and see if we can placate the Tsesarevich and make him speak. If not, we’ll put this in attention to our parents.”

Yuuri could only nod in thanks.

When they left, Yuuri sighed and stood up properly. “ _Victor_.”

In one fell swoop, the windows opened and the silver moon owl swooped down to perch himself on his shoulder. He nuzzled the owl’s head and smiled apologetically, “Sorry Victor, but I’ll need all the strength I could get for this…” he apologized.

Victor merely hooted in reply that can be translated to  _‘As long as you need me, I’ll help.’_

“We need to head there…” Yuuri decided. “I need to set things right. I think I know why he was arrested by my…no…the Tsesarevich…”

Celestino nodded, knowing that he was trying to calm himself as fast as he could with the help of Victor. The owl was always the one to snap him out of almost anything, something that he is grateful about.

“Very well. I will seek an audience with their majesties and join you soon.”

“I understand.” Yuuri said as he left.

He didn’t like it that it happened this way, but it was time to face someone from his past.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When he arrived at the prison barracks, the guards that were stationed there were of the kingdom’s. He tried his best to avoid anything that hinted that they are Russian guards, and as a precaution, he casted a veil charm on him keyed to Russian guards so that no one would notice him, provided that they know who he is.

He made his way to where Phichit was being detained, the interrogation room.

He knows that Phichit could hold himself in this state. After all, it was not the first time he was arrested (according to Captain Emil). Yuuri made his way to the interrogation room, where he heard screaming that could only be heard from Prince Michele.

Yuuri didn’t mean to become an eavesdropper again, but their voices were too loud for him not to listen in and assess the situation he is in.

“…are you doing here in our kingdom without being detected?!” he heard Michele demand.

“That is none of your business but of your parents. You are risking war with Russia! Let me tell you, this will not be a silent affair.” A growling voice of a teenager replied. Yuuri gulped as he heard the dangerous term.

“War?! Excuse you  _Baby Ice Tiger_ , but you are the one risking war since you snuck into our territory for the sake of arresting a well-known and respected merchant in the docks!” he heard Michele growl back at the person.

“You have no idea what that man had done! He is arrested in the grounds of kidnapping and aiding in a conspiracy! If you try to defend him, then we will not hesitate to wage war on you for defending him and hiding the said person here on this very castle!”

Thankfully, Sara was there to at least try to tone down the argument, “Look, I don’t know what you are saying, but you are making false accusations. Is the Tzar even aware of what you are doing?”

“Of course he does. For the sake of recovering my parent, my father and I are willing to risk anything!” the Tsesarevich replied.

“Yura, that’s enough.” Another voice said, trying to calm down whoever it is in the other room. “You’re not helping anyone by yelling at the twins like this.”

“This is not up for debate. As it stands, you are arresting Phichit Chulanont on suspicion without proof. How could you accuse him of kidnapping your parent?” Sara questioned.

“Because he did!”

Hearing enough and in order to mask the fact that he was listening in, Yuuri signaled to Victor to keep quiet, heaved a deep sigh and tiptoed a few distance from the door until he ran towards the door loudly enough for those on the other side to hear, and pulled the door open violently.

“Where is he?” Yuuri said, pretending to pant in exhaustion.

Half the people in the room stared at him in shock, while the other two—the twins, looked at him in concern.

“Professor. That was fast.” Michele said.

Yuuri came to Michele, pretending to ignore the two other people in the room. “I came as soon as I calmed down. Where is Phichit?” he asked in concern.

“Ask them.” Michele said. “He is currently in the interrogation room with all the Russian guards watching him like a hawk.”

Yuuri then turned to look at them properly and saw that instead of adults, they were two teenagers. One was blond and the other was tall and dark haired. They look to be about seventeen and twenty, if his calculations were right.

Yuuri asked as politely as he could, “I need answers young sir, what has my friend done to warrant such an arrest?” he asked with pleading eyes.

There was silence in the room as the two stared at Yuuri, completely baffled. Even the twins noticed it.

The silence was broken when suddenly, the blond spoke. “ _Tousan_ …” he muttered.

Hearing the term somehow triggered something in Yuuri. It was familiar, but Yuuri cannot translate it as of now. “I beg your pardon?”

Almost too suddenly, the blond teenager grabbed him by the collar, Victor flying away in shock as the teenager stared at him in the face angrily. “What the fuck Katsudon! You’ve been here for _two years_ and didn’t even bother to tell us?! Did you just forget about us you idiot?!”

“W-What…?” Yuuri wondered, obviously baffled about what is happening right now. “Who…?”

“Speak up you idiot! Why did you leave us hanging?!” the teenager was about to demand more questions when the owl had had enough. Angry that the blond was attacking his master, Victor swooped in an tried to claw the hair out of the teenager, making him let go of Yuuri’s collar and instead, turned his attention to the feathered menace. “What the?! Get off me you stupid sack of feathers!”

Greatly offended, Victor gave out a violent hoot and attacked the blond further, his dark haired companion was conflicted of hurting an animal and saving his companion.

He watched as the blond wrestled with the owl, but to make sure that nothing will be ruined in the room, Yuuri decided to call Victor out.  _“That’s enough Victor!”_  Yuuri said, invoking the obedience of his familiar.

The owl immediately stopped, but was not angered by the invocation of the order. Instead, he perched on Yuuri’s arm and tilted his head down in apology for acting rashly and attacking a teenager no older than seventeen.

“What the hell was that?!” the blond demanded.

“Are you alright Yura?” the other teenager asked in concern.

The blond one, Yura, as he was called, glared at him, “The fuck Otabek? Of course I’m not!”

“I apologize for my familiar, he’s a bit protective of me.” Yuri apologized.

Michele snorted, “Don’t feel bad about him Prof. if anything, he deserves it.”

As if pouring salt to the wound, Victor hooted in agreement. Yuuri looked at the two of them, displeased. “The two of you, that’s enough. And  _you_ ,” he said as he tapped Victor’s beak in reprimand, “I taught you better than that. You as well, Prince Michele. What did I say about arguing with envoys of foreign kingdoms? It brings out the misconception of using your rank against them.”

“But he’s no envoy!” Michele defended. “He’s the Tsesarevich. We’re in the same ranking so I can argue with him.”

“Be that as it may, Prince Michele, I—” Yuuri stopped in his tracks. “The Tsesarevich?” Yuuri said as his head snapped back to the blond teenager.

“Yes.” Sara said as she turned to introduce them, “This is the Tsesarevich Yuri Plisetsky and his fiancé and guard, Otabek Altin.”

Yuuri could only stare at the teenager in front of him. Taking a good look at him, he recalled the photos that was in the investigation files about him. The young Tsesarevich that he saw had shoulder-length hair with piercing green eyes, promising retribution should he be crossed, but on candid photos with him, he looked younger.

What stood before him was grown up, taller, and his hair in a tight ponytail. He wore a black wool coat with gold embroideries, reminding him of the tattered clothes that he came with when Phichit found him.

Beside him was a man obviously not of Russian descent. Otabek Altin looked more of a Middle Eastern man, but there was something off about him, but he laid it to rest. He had also seen him from the photos, and now he had grown a bit older.

In front of him, two people from his past appeared just like that, and one of them was his son, and he looked angry.

“I need answers from the two of you!” Yuri demanded at the twins. “What have you done, making the  _Prince Consort of the Tzar_  your fucking tutor?!”

Baffled, the twins looked back at Yuri and then at their tutor, completely confused. Rightfully so, as they had no idea who he really is.

“Professor, what is he saying?” Sara questioned.

Not taking any chances, Yuuri saw it best to keep it for a while longer. “There will be a time for questions about my identity later. What I’d like to request right now is the release of the Merchant Chulanont. He has done nothing wrong.” He said, turning back to the original cause of the argument. “I know the reason why you accused him of kidnapping, but I can tell you now, he is not one to abduct a person.”

He looked at the Tsesarevich with pleading eyes, imploring the release of his best friend. When he saw that he was not budging, Yuuri decided to go for broke. “If you release him, everything will make sense.” He promised.

Otabek turned to Yuri, knowing that he was not budging. “Yura…”

Clenching his fist in frustration and anger, he looked away. “Otabek. Tell the guards to release him.”  

Yuuri smiled at him gratefully.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The interrogation room door opened to see Phichit being taken out by the guards. Upon seeing him, the guards stiffened in shock, but Phichit looked on at him as a beacon of hope.

“Yuuri!” Phichit said as he approached him. “You asked them to release me?” he questioned as he looked at the blond teenager, clearly displeased upon recalling what happened to him in the middle of the marketplace.

“I did.” Yuuri replied. “And now I owe them an explanation.” He muttered.

Phichit huffed. “To think it would come earlier than we expected…” he then turned to Yuri, who was watching them with annoyance. “And you, I don’t care if you’re the Tsesarevich or even the Tzar himself, but your pettiness and public outcry and arresting me in the middle of work is uncalled for.” He lectured.

“Phichit, there’s no need to argue.” Yuuri said. “We’re being summoned to the throne room after this.” He informed.

Yuri spoke up, clearly annoyed. “The sooner we get out of here, the better.” he then turned to leave, Otabek following behind him, but not before bowing at them in apology of his actions.

“Well, that is one sour teenager. You think he’s still not over the teenage rebellion phase?”  

His friend looked back at him disapprovingly. “Your attempt at humor is not needed as of now, Phichit.”

“Sorry. Shall we go?” Phichit offered.

“Not like we have a choice.” He replied as he and Phichit walked out of the room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The throne room has never been so daunting before. Usually, he would be at the sidelines, watching everything unfold as the royal twins looked at the room beside their parents.

Now he was at the center of it all, with Celestino and Phichit by his side. On the sidelines was the Tsesarevich and his guard.

Queen Maria spoke, bringing Yuuri’s attention to her. “Royal Tutor Yuuri, I do apologize for the summons. And to Merchant Chulanont, I greatly apologize for the public arrest, but rest assured, my Women are already rectifying it.”

At the mention of the  _Queen’s Women_ , they immediately knew that they were the covert women selected by the queen to spread the news to the gossip mills aiding the royal family with their public announcements. Using the Women meant that it was too spread out to be ignored, as the arrest was done in a very public place.

“I have no ill will on the arrest, Your Majesty. I understand that you had your hands tied.”

King Emmanuel nodded in approval. “I’m glad that you understand the situation.” He then turned to Yuuri, “Now, Royal Tutor, you have spoken to us a few days ago regarding your investigation with regards to your true identity. I believe I owe you and my children an explanation on how the Tsesarevich of Russia had arrived at our doorstep without anyone knowing.” He started.

“A day after you disclosed to us your investigation, we have been notified by the Tzar that his son would be arriving to arrest Merchant Chulanont on the grounds of suspicion of kidnapping and aiding the House of Orlov in their quest of eliminating the Prince Consort.” Yuuri clenched his fist at the mention of the master family of the Marinovski Sorcerers. “Of course, if we refused to house him in secret while they carried out their mission, we would also be accused as aiding that house. For that, we had to agree and allowed everything to unfold, knowing what you would do once he is imprisoned.”

“And I do think it turned out well,” Queen Maria injected.

“I don’t believe so.” Yuri spoke up, a scowl on his face. “I apologize if this comes out as disrespect, but we came here to retrieve the Prince Consort. This has gotten more complicated now that I have found out that he has been here the whole time, teaching the twins while we searched the entire capital for clues. We need answers to the questions that have been built-up since coming here.”

“That is true.” Queen Maria agreed. “In our defense, we did not trust you enough to let you in on that information, for there is something that you must know about your lost Prince Consort.”

“What do you mean?” Otabek asked.  

“Allow me to explain,” Celestino spoke up, “You know him, but he does not remember you.”

Yuuri watched as the two let out a confused stare at the Court Sorcerer. “What do you mean?”

It was time to face the music. “Tsesarevich, I apologize, but…you might call me the Prince Consort, but for the past two years, I have no recollection of the first twenty-three years of my life.”

And in that second of confession, he could see the face of the Tsesarevich go paler than he already is, followed by Otabek whose eyes widened in shock at the revelation.

What Yuuri saw in the eyes of the Tsesarevich for the first time since meeting, was shock and heartbreak.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**She whispers warm and tenderly**

**Please come back to me**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**To Be Continued**

 

 


	3. What I Said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything felt familiar, and at the same time, strange. Upon his return to St. Petersburg, Yuuri knew that he was not the only one looking for answers as to who he was, but also to the people who was looking for him. Even he was unsure if the person he thought he was and the person they were looking for was the same person. 
> 
> For the first time in two years, Yuuri would be confronting those worries without ignorance and the desire to simply forget he had a life before two years ago, and he knew that he needed to make a decision: forget or remember.

**Chapter 3: What I Said**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The winds while at sea.

Yuuri missed the feeling of it since coming to live in Venezia for almost two years.

Now he stood at the deck, looking at the far reaching sea, Phichit’s merchant ship _Hamm_ just following them from behind, led by Captain Emil.

The vessel he and Phichit were in, the royal vessel _Stribog_ was grand, but it was also very intimidating. For it to be docked at one of the smaller towns near the capital without anyone noticing was a feat in itself, for it was painted in silver, blue and gold. Even the sail showed the royal coat of arms of Russia.

He sighed as he watched the waves form in the horizon to pass the time, for the situation he is on right now is something that he did not like at all.

It has been seven days since the first encounter with the Tsesarevich. Many questions were asked towards him and answered about the entire ordeal, and Yuuri did not like any second of it, for as the words left his mouth during the explanation, a bit of the Tsesarevich’s façade slowly peeled off enough for Yuuri to see a conflicted teenager who had lost a parent.

Sure he was alive, but it was different. How could you call someone your parent when he doesn’t even remember who you are?

The day after that, the Tsesarevich and his guard—who he had come to realize was the captain of the guards of the Tsesarevich, Otabek, had started to distance themselves to him.

That was until Yuuri had announced that he intends to go back to Saint Petersburg when Yuri had approached him at his study and asked what he intended to do now.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Six Days Ago**

“Why?” The younger had Yuri asked rather harshly.

Yuuri didn’t know how to word his intentions, but Phichit, who had been beside him since that time, always found a way to snap at the young prince. The Thai merchant knows how to hold a grudge, apparently.

“Before you came and _arrested me_ , Tsesarevich,” he stressed, “We intended to head to Saint Petersburg to do our own investigation on what happened after he disappeared.” He revealed. “Now that you appeared at our doorstep, some things needed to change.”

Phichit was still mad about that, apparently. Not to mention, when it happened, he also learned that they attempted to raid his vessel without a proper warrant. Had Captain Emil and the Queen’s Women not interfered, it would have looked like he was selling counterfeit items.

“Georgi alerted us and we followed you. What were we supposed to think when a merchant suddenly shows up with an item that belonged to a member of the royal family?” Yuri defended.

“Gee, I don’t know. Look into him and approach him civilly maybe? And you should have probably skipped the public accusations and arrest while you were at it? It would really save me the time to make up an excuse even with the Queen’s Women helping me out.” Phichit said sarcastically.

The flush on Yuri’s face was enough of an indication that he knew he was wrong, but his pride stopped him from apologizing.

Knowing that a fight might break out, Yuuri found it better to intervene. “Stop it the two of you, or I will make Victor claw the two of you to his heart’s content.” He warned, using his ‘Professor voice’ on them.

Phichit seemed to back off, but Yuri was looking at him like he was insane. “You’re literally sicking an owl at me? Is that the best you can do?”

An angry squawk drew their attention to Victor who was silently perched at his own stand, wings getting ready for an attack as if saying _‘Try me.’_

“Does that answer your question?” Yuuri returned.

When the silence in the room was restored, Yuuri then clarified, “I intended to go to Saint Petersburg to find out what happened, and if I really am Yuuri Katsuki. Believe me when I say that I didn’t intend to find out the truth until recently.” He confessed. “I just wanted to find closure and move on.”

It was rather harsh to say to a seventeen year-old, that’s why he didn’t stop him when he simply scowled and screamed “Do what you want!” with his faithful companion following him.

He realized afterwards that it was probably not the way to put it to a temperamental teenager.

The next day, Otabek had informed him that if he still wants to find out who he is and to recover his memories, he would come with them to sail back home. As a compromise, Phichit’s vessel can tail the _Stribog_ if he still intends to accompany him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That was why at present, he finds himself petting Victor, who was perched on the edge, absentmindedly. The owl seemed to like the petting and did not object to it.

Up until the vessel sailed, the Tsesarevich has kept himself locked up in his cabin. It was understandable, but a deep part of Yuuri’s heart wrenched at the thought of his supposed son avoiding him, and he could tell that he was at fault.

Normally, the journey from Italy to Russia would take over two to three months, but with the use of the Navigator, it would only take eight days. It is a powerful item which speeds up the travel time of the ship at the choosing of the user, and Yuuri had seen Phichit use it more than once for emergencies.

The Tsesarevich, wanting the journey to end as soon as possible, decided to use it to return to Saint Petersburg fast. 

“What do I do, Victor?” he wondered as he looked down at his owl who was still enjoying being caressed on the head. “The Tsesarevich is looking for his father in me, but I don’t even remember him. I can’t just treat him like I used to because I _don’t know_ how that is…”

“Do not trouble yourself. Yura has always been like that.” Yuuri turned his head to see Otabek approach him, now in his military attire. “And don’t mind his tantrums. He understands, but he needs time to process everything.”

Yuuri nodded and looked back at the fair winds and seas. “I understand that. It took me a week to accept the fact that I am someone I did not expect myself to be.”

The young man looked at him in concern, “Your Majesty.” He declared.

“Huh?” Yuuri suddenly let out, stopping the caress on his owl—who was displeased and is now glaring at Otabek.

“That’s what I called you before you disappeared. That’s who you are.” He stated, “But for the sake of your thoughts, would it be alright for me to call you your given name even for such a short time?”

Yuuri nodded. “That would be fine. Until I can find a way to unseal my memories, I don’t want to be called by anything else other than Yuuri.” He informed him. “Everything is so surreal.”

“Are you really being honest with Yura when you said that you didn’t intend to find out who you were at the beginning?” Otabek inquired.

Chuckling bitterly at the forwardness of the young man, Yuuri nodded. “For the past two years, I could not recall anything about who I am. Had Phichit not discovered that I have my name embroidered on the clothes on my back, I wouldn’t even know it.” He confessed. “I decided that I would live my life and make the best out of it in hopes that I would make a new and peaceful life.”

“And you did not mind those you might have left behind?” Otabek didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but when Yuuri’s left eye twitched, he knew that it really did come out as harsh. “Sorry…I didn’t intend…”

Yuuri shook his head. “No. You’re right. I didn’t mind. I didn’t mind because one part, I thought I didn’t care about who I was, and another is that if Phichit had found me the way he did, then that would make me conclude that I was alone. My selfishness to keep a peaceful life in Venezia was what made me like this. A royal tutor tasked to mold the minds of the royal twins in both magic and politics. Nothing more, nothing less.”

After his statement, Otabek surprisingly chuckled at that. Looking back at the younger man who was still smiling, he gave him a questioning look which Otabek noticed immediately. “I apologize. It’s just…even without any memories, it’s clear that you really are Yuuri Katsuki.”

When he tilted his head in wonder, he continued. “Way back then, six years ago, you said the same thing when you were conflicted when the Tzar started courting you.” He revealed. “You said that you are simply the Court Sorcerer of the empire, no more, no less, and that you do not deserve the attention he was giving you when there are a lot of Russian nobles vying for his attention. In your exact words, by the way.”

In an instant, a blush crept on his face, knowing himself, he must have really said that.

“Your self-depreciation used to drive us mad. Always selling yourself short when all this time, you are one of the best in what you do.” Otabek informed him. “Maybe that’s why Yura is still in turmoil. You act like his father, Yuuri Katsuki, but at the same time, you’re not him without your memories. He’s hurting, but he’ll understand in time. Hopefully before we reach home.” He said as he turned and left Yuuri to his thoughts.

As Otabek left, Yuuri was left to ponder, is it worth breaking the hearts of the people he knew by saying outright that he’s not their Yuuri, simply because he doesn’t have the memories?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The answer came the following night in the form of Phichit Chulanont (no surprises there).

When he told him about what Otabek had pointed out, he merely hummed. “What else is new?” he asked him innocently.

Yuuri only rolled his eyes and groaned. “Is that really how I am?”

“I hate to break it to you, but Otabek Altin knows you very well.” Phichit replied absent-mindedly. “You have a low opinion of yourself and believe that you are worth less than what you really are, and that puts a downer in your personality.” He stated. “I guess to them, you’re no different from who you were and what you are now.”

“And that is probably why the Tsesarevich is hurting.” Yuuri said with a sigh. “This is getting too complicated.”

Phichit huffed and sat down beside Yuuri, “Hey. None of that. Everyone is confused, even me. I definitely didn’t know my best friend is royalty until a few weeks ago.” he said and pat his back. “Once we get to Saint Petersburg, we’ll clear things up and find out what in the world happened to you. The royal brat didn’t think it good to disclose it without the entire party present.”

He knew that Phichit was trying to be reassuring, but still, the guilt is killing him inside. Making Yuri upset and in turmoil is the last thing Yuuri would do, but now, he is doing just that.

“I just don’t know what to do anymore.” Yuuri muttered, covering his face with his hands in frustration. “Every step I make hurts the people of my past and present. Even you got arrested because of me!”

Phichit snorted, “That wouldn’t be the first time I got arrested. I can still remember when I was arrested at the Caribbean when I was mistakenly accused of flirting with a married woman.” He shared. “Really, if I didn’t tell the husband that I was into men, then he wouldn’t have let me leave the island.”

Yuuri’s head shot up and looked back at him, “I didn’t expect you to be so calm about it too.”

“Oh believe me, I’m still mad at the Tsesarevich, but I can’t be mad for being arrested. It’s one of the things that I have gotten used to over the years.” Phichit said proudly.

“Wait, exactly how many times have you been arrested?” Yuuri dared ask.

The young Thai just smiled, “More than you think I have.” He hinted. “Now shoo, it’s been a long night, and I want to end it in peace. Besides, it’s almost time for Seung-Gil’s mirror call.”

“He’s calling you all the way from Korea? What time is it in his place?” Yuuri wondered.

“I don’t know, and he doesn’t care. I just need to talk to my man. Now get out.” Phichit said as he pushed Yuuri out of his cabin. “See you tomorrow, bye!”

As soon as he was out of the cabin, Phichit slammed the door shut behind Yuuri, who just sighed at his actions. Ever since getting into a long-distanced relationship, Phichit has been very prickly when it comes to his alone time with Seung-Gil, which he didn’t really mind. He understood that Phichit would want to monopolize what little time they have every single day.

Since he wasn’t feeling sleepy yet, and he had let Victor roam the deck, he decided to join the owl in a late night walk.

The vessel was half a size larger than Phichit’s, which makes it all the more perfect for any late night musings that Yuuri does when he is distracted by a lot of things, which is a lot, these past few days.

Now he just wanted peace.

As he was musing to himself, he suddenly noticed something go past the corner of his eye. Turning to his right, he saw the person that he least expected to be out in the night.

The flowing golden blond hair was enough of an indication that the person who was looking out into the open sea, surprisingly watching Victor fly about, was Yuri, who had been avoiding him ever since they set sail to St. Petersburg roughly six days ago.

Soaking up enough courage, he went to stand on his side, looking at Victor as well.

“Victor is a Silver Moon Owl.” Yuuri said, opening a conversation. It startled the teenager, but it seems like he doesn’t have enough energy to scowl. Instead, he looked at him passively, his eyes asking him why he mentioned such a fact. “You’ve been looking at Victor flying about for a while now. You seem interested.”

Yuri looked back at the owl who was still flying around. “I’m not interested in his species. What I’m curious about is why you named an animal after Victor. _Again._ ”

Yuuri tilted his head, “What?”

“The last time you named an animal after Victor, it was a poodle. We call him Vicchan nowadays so that we would not mistakenly call Victor and have the small poodle running to anyone who calls him.” Yuri shared.

He couldn’t help it. Red creeped on his face that he must have looked like a tomato. For him to name his familiar after his husband. Now he knew why Phichit, Celestino and even the two teenagers were looking at Victor funnily for a while now.

“It was…the naming thing, it came naturally when we created a bond.” Yuuri explained. “The moment I held Victor as an owlet, the name came and bound us as master and familiar.”

“Where did you find him?” Yuri dared ask.

“Phichit found him in one of his travels. He was just an owlet when we met, and he’s been with me ever since.” Yuuri shared.

For some reason, the young man scowled at the mention of him. “What’s your relationship with that merchant anyway?” he asked. “For him to give you a rare owl, you two seem too close for comfort.”

 _‘Ah. He thinks we’re in_ that _kind of relationship.’_ Yuuri concluded. “Well for one thing, he’s the person who saved me from dying.” He told him. He had told this to the young man days ago, but he needed him to understand that there was nothing between them. “Had he found me only a few minutes later, I would have been dead.”

He could still remember the concerned face of the Thai when he first woke up. “I didn’t remember anything, not even my name, but he treated me like a normal person and wasn’t the least bit suspicious and helped me get a life in Italy.” He continued, “Three months later, I became the royal tutor of the Crispino twins, and my peaceful life had gone on. Until a few months ago.” he told him.

“When that merchant went to St. Petersburg.” Yuri filled in himself.

Yuuri sighed. “Yes. And when Celestino came back from the Gathering for Anya’s trial.” When he saw Yuri stiffened, he knew exactly that he knew about it. “You were there at the trial, weren’t you?” he guessed. “As the family member of the aggrieved party, you and the Tzar had the right to oversee the hearing. Celestino didn’t know until he arrived at The Hague that he would be presiding over the trial that involved me. He didn’t want to tell you until he had definite proof that the person Phichit found almost dying in the middle of the sea was the missing Prince Consort. Everything is still confusing to me, really, and I don’t know what I would do when we arrive at St. Petersburg.”

“But…after this…will you come back?”

The question made Yuuri’s eyes widen as he watched the Tsesarevich remove his glamor of being a hormonal angry teenager and showed his true emotions in his eyes: hurting and longing for the parent that he thought was lost to him forever, and might still lose, depending on his decision.

His instinct wanted to grab him and embrace him in hopes that it would make him feel better, but Yuuri knew better. To him, Yuri Plisetsky-Nikiforov was a stranger, and he could not lie about it. He knew nothing except what the books and the court gossip mill knew, and it hurt him that he was hurting the teenager just by being there.

“I…don’t know.” Yuuri admitted to him. “I want to find out who I am, and I want to recover my memories. As it stands, until I solve this piece of my life, I don’t know what I will do.”

“Typical _katsudon_.” Yuri uttered the term again.

“What does that mean?” Yuuri wondered. “You said the same thing back at the prison barracks.”

At that, Yuri groaned. “I can’t believe a day came with you forgetting what it is!” he muttered. “Nevermind. Once you get your memories back or you try and learn Japanese terms again, remember this conversation. I’m going to sleep. We’ll be at Saint Petersburg tomorrow morning and I need it.” He said with a stubborn grunt and left Yuuri on his own.

Yuuri watched at the retreating back of the Russian prince, knowing that he needed more time to think about what he had told him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The moment Yuuri woke up, he immediately felt too cold.

His body trembled a bit as he was stirred awake by the temperature, but it wasn’t cold enough to make him freeze to death.

Dressing in thick clothing, he decided to head to the deck to know where they were at.

What met him above deck was harsh cold wind and snow, but the crew doesn’t seem too fazed, except for the fact that Yuri was scowling and Otabek was beside him, trying to calm him down and controlling the Navigator.

“Of all days for us to come back home, it had to be a day where the weather is like a snowstorm is a day away from raging in the capital.” The young man grumbled.

Otabek didn’t seem fazed at the possibility. “Don’t stress yourself. You know this will go away in a matter of hours.” He told him, trying to placate the teenager beside him.

“That’s why I hate it. They’re always unpredictable.”

“Just like you then.” Otabek teased.

Yuuri didn’t know why, but he felt a bit fuzzy at the sight of the two of them standing next to each other. Maybe because from the gossip mill where Princess Sara tends to gather information from, he had learned that the Tsesarevich and the young Altin—who was from a foreign kingdom in the Middle East, had a tumultuous and scandalous relationship at the beginning.

Otabek Altin was the third son of the daughter of the current Khan, which technically makes him a member of the royal family. Around the time when he and Yuri met for the first time was during the bad blood feud of the Nikiforovs and the Khanate that involved lost lands and kidnapped daughters. 

The end of the story was, Otabek was banished and disowned, and his parents were put to shame by his affair with the Tsesarevich and accepted, no less, by none other than the family that they have been fighting for generations.

But the royal family didn’t care of the young man’s lineage. What the Tzar had cared about most of all was the happiness of his only son and heir. And now, he was the Captain of the Guard for the security detail of the young Tsesarevich.

For them to survive that scandal unscathed was a blessing.

He must have stared at them for too long, for Yuri started calling him out.

“Hey, if you’re going to watch the sky for spitting out snow, be my guest, but we’ll be heading below deck for warmth.” Yuri said, taking him out of his thoughts.

“Uh…where are we, exactly?” Yuuri asked lamely.

“We’re an hour away from Saint Petersburg. It seems that the Navigator worked too well and took up more magic than necessary for us to arrive a day early.” Otabek replied for him. “We’ll be going covertly from the back of the palace, so no one would see us get back.”

“I see…” Yuuri thought. “Then we’re to stay inside then.” He decided and turned to go below deck and decided to check on Victor, who might also be freezing.

But to his surprise, Victor easily swooped out of the stairs and rushed to the wind from above their heads.

“What?” Yuuri wondered, knowing that his owl was not suicidal. When he turned back to the sky to search for his familiar, he saw him flying away like he was dancing with the storm. From his bond link, Yuuri could tell that Victor was enjoying himself. “Well, that’s new.” Yuuri muttered. “He’s never been happy with rainstorms before…”

“Silver Moon Owls are lovers of ice and snow, not water,” Otabek stated. “They’re endemic in the Alps between the borders of Russia and Scandinavia, wild and untameable. I’m surprised that he is also your familiar.” He commented. “Where did you find him?”

“Phichit found him in one of his stop-overs. He didn’t know what and where he came from, but he said that he rescued Victor as an owlet in a forest on the ground.” He informs him.

“Fascinating.” Otabek admired.

Yuri rolled his eyes, “Let’s just get inside before we get buried in the snow from standing here too long.” He said and went inside. Yuuri and Otabek simply shared a look of understanding and followed him below.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The first word that came to mind upon arriving at the docks of Saint Petersburg was _beautiful_.

The capital was literally between the aesthetics of Winter Wonderland and Baroque Architecture. He could see the neoclassical buildings and old buildings that ranges from residences to shops and squares. What attracted him the most was that it went so well with the cold climate that it seemed like he was going into a new world.

“Yeah, the first time I saw the capital blew my mind too.” Phichit commented as he went beside Yuuri. “But we can’t explore the capital yet. We need to get you to the palace undercover.”

“Once again, you state the obvious.” Yuuri said with a roll of his eyes. “But you’re right.” He turned to Yuri and Otabek who are now preparing to leave the vessel. “How am I going to be smuggled into the capital without anyone knowing?”

Otabek then gave him a folded cloak, “Wear this.”

Yuuri took the fabric and unfolded it, showing the beautiful sequins and crystal embellishments on the seams. For him, it seems familiar. “This cloak…have I seen this before?” he wondered out loud.

He didn’t notice the look of shock from the teenagers as he was still staring at the cloak.

“You…used to wear that to sneak away with the Tzar when you wanted some alone time. I think you were the one who enchanted it, since this one masks your presence from everyone but the Tzar when you wear it.” Otabek explained.

Phichit whistled, impressed. “Wow. The things you do with magic.” he commented.

Yuuri blushed at the praise. Did he really do this himself?

Well, he couldn’t really tell right now, but even if he did, this was really impressive for an ordinary sorcerer like him to do such a thing to a piece of clothing.

Wearing it was like being welcomed back, and Yuuri decided to silently revel in its familiarity. For him, it felt like being one step closer to his past.

No one commented on the cloak again when they disembarked the vessel. They docked at the back of the capital and the palace, in a thick forest of trees with little to no trail at all. Yuri left the crew to take care of the vessel as the four of them ventured into the thick forest. Otabek assured him and Phichit that the crew knew their way around the forest and no one would really get lost from all their years of service.

From how Yuri and Otabek had led them out of the forest to the palace grounds for the next three hours, it would seem that they had known the path like the back of their hands. It makes him think how many times they had tried to sneak out of the palace.

It kind of reminded him of the twins when they try to escape from the staff to have some time for themselves. He really couldn’t blame them if they wanted a breather. Born into a well-off family they may be, they also needed space and time for themselves to stay sane.

As they passed through the forest, Yuuri could see the spires and roofs of the back of the palace. His heart raced as they neared it, and no one seemed to notice but his familiar who had been silently nipping at him at every chance he gets once the anxiety threatens to bear its ugly head.

Halfway through the forest, the four of them stopped to see two cloaked figures. The two held up two oil lamps to them, as the forest and cold fog were slightly thicker than they had anticipated.

Yuri alone walked towards them. “She’s singing softly in the night.” He stated.

“Praying for the morning light.” The first cloaked person, an old man, replied.

“She dreams of how they used to be.” The second person, a woman, followed.

Yuri and Otabek spoke in unison. “At dawn they will be free.”

The tension in the air that wasn’t supposed to be there broke, and Yuri took of his hood. “Thank every living deity we’re back.” He grumbled.

The two figures took off their hoods as well, and Yuuri’s jaw almost fell upon recognizing the two of them from the pictures on his file. The Adviser Yakov Feltsman and his former wife, Baroness Lilia Baranovskaya.

“Thank Rod you arrived safely.” Yakov stated. “Your father has been beside himself ever since you set out to Italy.”

“Well, there were setbacks, so it took a while.” Yuri replied.

Lilia and Yakov then looked behind the teenagers to see Phichit taking off his hood with Yuuri, who is really waiting for something to crash.

“By the gods, it’s really you, Yuuri.” Lilia greeted as he approached Yuuri and touched his shoulders. Victor had long since changed position and landed on Phichit’s shoulder, as if waiting for something to happen. Yuuri felt awkward. “What have you been doing in Italy all this time?” she asked worriedly.

Yuuri felt words escape his mouth. “I…”

But before he could continue, Yuri interrupted him. “Lilia, this is not the time to ask him that.” He advised. “There’s…something wrong.”

“What is it?” Lilia asked as he looked at Yuuri. When the young man simply shrugged, Lilia was compelled to touch Yuuri’s cheek. Yuuri felt warm, but the warmth quickly went up to his head, and in an instant, her hand glowed and suddenly, realization hit her. “Oh dear.”

“What is it?” Yakov asked her.

Lilia shook his head and turned back to her ex-husband, “We need to head to the Chalet now. This is not the place to discuss things.”

Her voice of urgency alerted Yakov that whatever Lilia saw in the missing Prince Consort, it was not good.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yuuri and Phichit were smuggled into the palace grounds using passages that no one would even dare venture into unless they knew the layout of the palace like the back of their hands. And that was how Yakov and Lilia did it as they were led to the palace stables, as told by Otabek who filled them in on why they were doing this.

They were then led to the carriage that led them away from the palace, which puzzled Yuuri at once. It didn’t take a minute for him to realize why.

If someone from the royal household saw him, they would immediately start spreading the news that the Prince Consort has been found, or that they have seen his ghost for some reason. That would lead to a lot of speculation and might alert anyone who did not deserve to know that information.

The journey took a few more hours, with silence reigning inside. The Adviser and the Baroness were silent, until Yakov himself broke it when it became unbearable.

“Now, you told me that there is something that set the two of you back in Italy?” Yakov started.

“We can’t let them explain things over and over again, Yakov.” Lilia stated, looking at Yuuri sympathetically, knowing what was wrong. “We need to wait for Victor.”

At the mention of the name, the owl hooted in question, making the two raise a brow.

Yuuri blushed. “Ah sorry…it’s just, his name is also Victor…”

“Why would you name your pet owl after your husband?” Yakov questioned.

Victor then screeched, offended at being called a ‘pet’ owl.

“He’s not a pet owl. He’s my familiar.” Yuuri replied while patting Victor’s head to calm him down. “Stop it.” He whispered at the owl.

“Yeah Victor. You’re not the only one who holds the name.” Phichit commented which earned a painful nip at the ear from the said familiar, as he was beside Yuuri and the owl was between them. “Ow!” the Thai hissed. “You little…”

When the two looked back at the teenagers in the room, they simply shrugged as if saying, ‘you’ll know soon.’

“Where’s Victor anyway?” Yuri asked the two.

“I already sent word to him. He’s at the Chalet walking Makkachin when we left him.” Lilia informed them.

Yuuri suddenly felt himself stiffen.

He was going to meet the Tzar of Russia, his supposed husband. What do you say to a man you don’t even remember marrying or loving? ‘I’m sorry I was gone, but I had amnesia and can’t remember you?’ or is it, ‘Hi! How have you been doing while I was gone and not remembering or caring about you?’

Both sounded stupid and rude that would probably end him up in a guillotine. From what Yuuri knew, Yuri had not said a word about him on his memories being locked-up in his head, but the concerned face of Lilia when her magic coursed through his head made him realize that the Baroness knew what happened, and she was intent on waiting for the right time to voice out her knowledge of these things.

Sensing his distress, Yakov looked back at Yuuri. “All these years…you had all of us worried. Not just us, but also your parents and your godmother. The Empress was close to sending out a search party to every part of the world just to locate you.”

Yuuri’s head shot up. “T-The Empress?” he asked, remembering the Empress of Japan, Empress Minako, who is supposed to be his godmother. To think that he would cause the two monarchs in a frenzy about his disappearance, and none had ever thought to search for him in the Southern Countries. Of course, the logic in it is that he was sailing from Russia to Japan, thus, narrowing down his possible location. No one would think that he would be so far from the mark.

“Yakov. That’s enough making him nervous. He’s going to overthink again.” Lilia stated.

“So you’ve caught on.” Phichit said, observing the adviser and the baroness.

The baroness looked at Phichit, “It’s not that difficult if you are skilled in the mind arts.” She stated.

“What are the two of you talking about?” Yakov wondered.

“We need to wait for Victor first.” Lilia insisted as he looked at the window.

Yuuri and Phichit followed her gaze for them to see a beautiful chalet in the middle of the forest, far away from the castle. It was like an escape house, miles away from the nearest town. From the humming of magic in the air, Yuuri knew that it was warded very well, keeping anyone who wish the occupants harm far away. A familiar magic signature was also mixed in the barriers, but he left that thought to himself.

“This place…” Phichit said as he admired the chalet that was probably made from the finest wood that could be found in Russia. His father’s vessel, before it was decommissioned, was made from Russian Olive, something that was really impressive. “This is wonderful. Who lives here?” he wondered.

Yuri was the one who answered. “This is the rest house that was built by Victor’s mother, the late Tzarina Alexandra. This land was a wedding gift from her brother-in-law after her wedding. She designed all of this, and Victor considers this as his second home.” He shared. “This is an escape haven of sorts.” He stated.

“And this is where the Tzar has been for the past week since Yuri and Otabek sent word that they would be arriving soon with you.” Lilia informed.

They had the carriage parked at the main entrance of the grand chalet, and as soon as they all got out of the carriage, they all heard the front door open to reveal a harried silver haired man wearing red and white training clothing. Yuuri noticed that they are the usual training clothes for sword fighting, the same clothing Prince Michele wore when training with the royal guards.

As if on instinct, Yuuri stood up in attention as the man—the Tzar—stood at the door, staring at him in disbelief, shock, and most of all, relief.

But all Yuuri could give the man was uncertainty and a questioning look on who he really is in his life.

“Yuuri…” the Tzar muttered. Yuuri can’t help but to admire his soft and loving voice, but he had to rein himself in.

For what stood in front of him was not his husband—he does not even remember the man—but the Tzar of Russia.

And for some reason, he felt his heart grow heavy at the thought.

Tzar Victor started approaching him, and in a split second, he was engulfed in a relieved embrace. Yuuri could only widen his eyes in shock as he felt his arms tighten around him, as if he had no intention of letting him go. Ever.

“Lyubov, you’re back…” he muttered in his ear.

“Eh?” Yuuri uttered in reply as Tzar Victor broke the embrace and held his shoulders tightly as he looked at him questioningly in the eyes.

“Where have you been this whole time? You’ve been gone for _two_ years…what happened to you? Where did Anya hide you?” he asked. “Everyone is worried, even your parents and Yuuko and the others back in Japan. Even Chris is worried about you. Why did you not contact anyone to know that you were safe? We have been searching the entire North for you.”

“I…” Yuuri was finding it hard to answer his questions. They were coming by one by one, and Yuuri did not know anything to answer back to him.

As if sensing that he needed help, Yuri stepped in. “Hey Victor. Stop with the fast questions. Can’t you see he’s confused?”

“What do you mean, Yurio?” Victor questioned.

When he knew that the Tzar is distracted enough, Yuuri reached up to his hands and removed them from his shoulder gently, as to not offend the Tzar in any way. He looked at him with apologetic eyes.

When Victor looked at him with a questioning look, he knew that he would be breaking his heart in saying his next words.

“Your Majesty…I apologize…” he started.

The man looked confused, and rightfully so. “What…why are you speaking to me so formally, Yuuri? Have I done something?”

Yuuri simply shook his head and continued. “No, nothing of that sort.” He denied.

“Then what?” he dared ask.

“It’s just…” he gathered all the strength he could muster. “I came here for one thing. I came here to find out who I am.”

The man was still looking at him in disbelief. “Who you are? Yuuri, you’re talking in cryptic. Why do you want to find out who you are?”

“Because, Your Majesty…I do not remember you. I don’t know who you are in my life…”

At that point, Yuuri could hear in his head that he had shattered his heart.

And maybe, his heart did too.

Victor took a step back at him, eyeing him in disbelief. “What?” he then turned to the people in the room. Yuuri could see from the corner of his eyes that the only one who was shocked other than the Tzar was Yakov, understandably so.

“What is going on here?” Victor demanded them.

Yakov stood, eying the Tzar. “Victor. It’s best if we take this inside.” He started. “This will be a very long discussion.” He said, eyes never leaving Yuuri as well.

Yuuri can’t help but agree.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yuuri found himself seated at the loveseat at the living room of the chalet, beside him was Phichit who attached himself to him for support, as he was the only one who knew the entire situation with Yuuri. Across from them were Lilia and Yakov, and on his right was Yuri seated at the armchair near the window where Otabek made himself comfortable, seated at the windowsill.

“I found Yuuri in the middle of the sea on my way to Venezia.” Phichit had started telling them. “He was almost dying of hypothermia when the crew and I found him. He was unconscious for two more days in my care. When he woke up, he could not remember anything.” Phichit glanced at Yuuri. “We only knew his name based on the name that was embroidered on his clothing and his handkerchief.”

“Wait a moment.” Victor said, listening to his every word while he was seated at the lone armchair, fingers linked and his mouth set on a straight line, assessing every word he spoke, “Georgi informed me that you bought it from a traveling merchant.” He countered.

A normal pretender would immediately backtrack, but Phichit knew that the man was trying to figure out the reason why he lied to Georgi in the first place. “I told that to him to mislead him. I came here to Saint Petersburg to find out who Yuuri is, while making sure none of the people here knew he is alive. Can you blame me, when I rescued a man who had lost his memories? I knew for a fact that he is someone that one wants dead, judging from the fact that I found him in the Southern Waters yet his clothing states that he is from the North.”

“Then why have you not travelled here sooner to find out?” Yakov inquired.

“Because I was only licensed to sell my wares here six months ago. I cannot got here without any reason. Imagine, a man from the Southeast suddenly roaming around Saint Petersburg asking around if they knew a man of Japanese origin? I don’t think it would be productive in the least. That would only alert his attackers that he was still alive and would hunt him down. It wouldn’t take them too much time to scour the entire Southern hemisphere.” Phichit stated.

“So I brought Yuuri to Venezia and introduced him to Celestino. He was my mentor back when I was younger, and I studied under him for seven years. I even grew up knowing the Crispino twins. I knew that he would help Yuuri integrate himself to a new home, seeing as he couldn’t even remember where he was from. When he got the job as the twins’ tutor, I’ve left him under Celestino’s care while I continued on with my business. We keep in touch as I am often in Venezia.” He stated.

Lilia was still sceptical about the matter. “Then why did you pursue finding out who you are after two years, when you could have found out for yourself immediately?” he directed the question at Yuuri.

From the looks of things, everyone—especially the Tzar—are dying to hear what he had to say about it.

“I…didn’t want to.” Yuuri confessed, earning surprised looks from everyone but Phichit and the teenagers who knew why. “I used to think that I was the only one who survived a bad storm that led me being in the middle of the ocean, so I didn’t dive into who I was, no matter how many times Celestino and Phichit urged me to. I just…wanted a quiet life.” He started. “What made me think of reconsidering it are my dreams…”

“Dreams?” Victor asked.

“I…for two years, I’ve been having frequent dreams of being in a ship, and battling someone using magic. I always see an entire crew being held forcefully on the floor until…I surrendered. The next thing I know, everything went dark. That’s all I keep recalling until I woke up. But recently, they have become more vivid. It started becoming vivid a few weeks before The Gathering.”

No one needed to know which one he had talked about. Knowing that he is under Celestino, who had been one of the summoned sorcerers of high ranking, Yuuri knew that as well.

“Phichit urged me to find out where my clothing came from, so I gave him the handkerchief. Everything came spilling out once I found out that The Gathering was for the trial of my disappearance.” He ended. “All I wanted was to get closure on my past. But it seems…it’s not that easy at all.”

“Because your past is very much still your present.” Lilia concluded. “From the moment I touched you with my magic, I knew something was wrong.” She started. “Your memories were sealed.”

Yuuri nodded. “I know.”

“And you have not done anything?” Yakov inquired.

Phichit was the one who spoke, “Seung-Gil Lee, the apprentice of South Korea’s Court Sorcerer, also saw through the seal. He told us that the seal was something that needed a trigger to break. If we break it by force…” Phichit trailed off, knowing that they can conclude the possibility themselves.

“Then we have to find it.” Victor decided. Everyone turned to look at him. “If what Sorcerer Park’s apprentice says is true, then all we have to do is to find the trigger.”

“It’s not that easy, Victor. The trigger could be anything.” Yakov stated.

“Then what do you suggest we do? Stay and do nothing?” Victor’s voice was becoming strained, and it worried Yuuri. “Everything that Yuuri has is here in Saint Petersburg. And if I know him well—which I do—then it might be found here.”

For some reason, Yuuri felt a bit touched at his idea, but quickly dismissed it, telling himself that what was in front of him was the Tzar.

“That just might work.” Otabek declared. “Earlier, when we handed you your cloak, you sensed that you had seen it somewhere, even before I told you that it was yours. Some of your things might be the trigger that you needed.”

“Then it is settled.” Victor said as he stood from his seat and went in front of Yuuri. “I know that you do not remember me, but I want you to.” He stated gently, “I…would you be comfortable with me showing you around your frequent places in the chalet?” he offered.

Yuuri was flustering badly. He wanted to refuse the man, to tell him not to bother with sticking around to find the trigger to unlock his memories, but upon looking at his eyes, he saw a glimmer of hope and despair mixing into one, and he could swear that there was a tinge of fear of rejection in them.

Being the kind soul that he is, there is only one thing he could answer.

“I…” Yuuri was still in shock at the offer.

But before Yuuri could finish his sentence, a flash of white suddenly flew between them. His familiar Victor was between them, and from the looks of the Tzar’s curious and surprised face, the owl was glaring at him, warning him not to come close.

Phichit rolled his eyes, “Oh for heaven’s sake Victor, he’s not going to do anything to him.”

“I don’t think you should say that to me.” The Tzar told him, a bit offended at the use of words.

“I wasn’t referring to you. I was referring to that sack of feathers Yuuri calls his familiar.”

When he looked back at Yuuri, who grabbed his familiar’s body to hold him down and prevent him from attacking the Tzar, he could tell that he was blushing madly in embarrassment at the revelation.

The Tzar could only smile, “Yuuri, again?” he could tell that he was greatly amused.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After the heavy conversation earlier and making sure his familiar didn’t attack the Tzar, Lilia took it upon herself to disperse the gathering and decided to let the new arrivals—them—rest for the day, as it had been a long journey.

Yuri led them to the guest room where Yuuri would share with Phichit. The Tzar had originally volunteered to show them, but Yuuri refused out of embarrassment, saying that he did not want to burden him any further.

He could swear that the hurt look in Tzar Victor’s eyes made his chest clench as hard as it could. He didn’t know if it was guilt, but it felt close to it. Even more than the mysterious longing that popped into the background.

Now Yuuri sat at the bed nearest the open window, gazing at the falling snow where he let Victor out to fly and hunt, wishing that he could find the answer to all of this immediately. It was clear to him that he was hurting the Tzar—while it was unintentional, it was still bad.

“You’re thinking about the Tzar.” Phichit didn’t need any preamble as he stared at his best friend gazing at the window, probably recounting what happened from the moment they set foot in the capital.

Yuuri looked back at his knowing friend. “Do I look evil to you, Phichit?”

“Physically, no, not at all.” Phichit answered quickly as he sat at the bed across from him. “What brought this on?”

“I feel like…every single word that comes out of my mouth hurt the Tzar. Like when I refused to allow him to show us to this room, or when I told him that I don’t remember him, or when I told him I just wanted to find out who I was and try to move on…I…” Yuuri started ranting.

Phichit’s eyes saddened as he looked at him, “Yuuri. I’ll be honest, those words did hurt him more than you think it did, but I don’t think the Tzar blames you.” He stated. “He knows the situation, and he’s going to deal with it as he sees fit.” He told him. “What matters is what you want to do after you find your trigger.”

He was right by all accounts, but Yuuri can’t bring himself to convince his own head and heart that he shouldn’t feel too guilty about it, but here he was, feeling guilty all the same.

“If it helps, I’ll be there to be the voice of reason.” Phichit assured him. “But there’s something I’m catching up on this.” He muttered.

Yuuri tilted his head in wonder. “What?”

Phichit leaned back on the bed, “I’ve been thinking, no one has been saying anything about why you were attacked. We theorized that it might be because of a lovesick noble, but with the way things are progressing and their reactions on every word we say…I think there’s something else.”

He would be lying if he said he didn’t notice the subtle glances that the Russians were directing at him, and there were things that they were not saying, even Yuri and Otabek.

“I also did my research with the House of Orlov, with the help of Sara and the Women.” Phichit replied. “They’re the family who tried to discourage his match with you.”

“For some reason, I’m not at all surprised.” Yuuri admitted.

The Thai shook his head, “Not just that, but that house is also rumored to be responsible for the death of Former Chancellor Nikolai Plisetsky’s son-in-law.”

“You mean Yuri’s biological father?”

“The very same.” Phichit replied. “Not long after, the Chancellor died, his daughter married the second son of the Orlov House and Yuri was taken in by the both of you. That’s as far as Sara and I could get.” Phichit stated. “But from the looks of things, the Tzar had already taken care of it.”

Yuuri hummed at the thought. Hearing the information form Phichit, it felt like he had something to do with it…but he couldn’t pinpoint it.

_‘They did this to Papochka and dedushka. I want revenge.’_

_‘Plain revenge will not solve things, Yurio. What we need is something else.’_

_‘What do you think I should do?! Let this go? They ruined and murdered my father, and dedushka died in grief because of what that bitch did!’_

_‘I know. But I didn’t say anything about letting it go.’_

At that instant, Yuuri felt a slight sting on his head. The abrupt sting involuntarily led his hand on his forehead, alarming Phichit.

“Yuuri, what is it?” Phichit asked, concerned.

Yuuri stared at the wall and then at Phichit, “I…” he then shook his head, “No, it’s nothing. Must be too tired from all of this…” he lied.

Phichit almost didn’t believe him, or maybe he really didn’t buy it, but he allowed him to let it die down. “If you say so. Get some rest. I still have to do some things. I did bring paperwork with me.”

With that, Yuuri had allowed himself a semblance of peace, until he felt himself being taken by fatigue and fell asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He didn’t know how long he was asleep, but from the window, it was already in the middle of the night, and beside him, Phichit was already fast asleep.

Not wanting to wake the Thai but was not willing to just lie down and go back to bed again, he decided to get out of the bedroom to find the living room. Lilia had informed him that the living room fireplace was always lit, and Yuuri kind of wanted some warmth while he thought things over.

Venturing into the corridors was not hard. The layout was pretty simple, and he easily found the staircase that led to the living room.

He was about to step out of the corridor when he heard voices.

“How could he not remember anything…?” the anguished voice of the Tzar tore Yuuri to pieces. “Yuuri is here, within my reach, but…he’s not _my_ Yuuri…he doesn’t remember…”

“Give him time, Victor. He’s had his mind sealed for the better part of two years. I’m amazed at the strength of the seal.” The voice of the Baroness stated. “But I’m not surprised, as I taught Anya everything she knew.”

He heard Yakov grunt in frustration. “You said that it can only be broken with a proper trigger? How could we find that out?”

“You don’t.” Lilia’s response was quick, simple, but stinging. “The trigger is something only the caster is aware of, and since Marinovskaya did not disclose this before she was frozen, we have no chance of guessing right the first time.” 

“Then what do you suggest we do?” Yakov asked her.

“Knowing Anya, she made the trigger something that is very important to the one she cast it on. That’s the nature of the spell. They seal memories that can only be triggered by a certain word, statement, or something that reminded them of an event. Yuuri having vivid dreams right after Anya was arrested meant that the seal is weakening, but not enough to completely break it.” Lilia explained. “But other than that…” she trailed off with a sigh. “What are you going to do now, Victor?”

Yuuri was anticipating the man’s response. It was strange, but every time the Tzar speaks, he feels like butterflies were in his stomach, which unnerved and embarrassed him.

“I don’t know.” The Tzar replied in an anguished voice. “I want…I want him to remember, but I don’t want to force myself to him. That might drive him further away from him…”

“And here I thought you have more backbone than that.” Lilia said sharply.

Yakov gave his ex-wife a warning response, “Lilia.”

It seems that his tone did not affect her as she continued, “Victor. The first time you tried to woo Yuuri, you fought battles against himself and tried your best to get him to fall for you despite him having doubts about you and where your relationship might take you. You had succeeded after two years of hard work, and now that you are back to square one, you are giving up this easily?” Lilia lectured. “Where is the Nikiforov in you?”

“I…” the Tzar tried to let out, but he was interrupted by the Baroness again.

“All there is to do is to try again, Vitya. Try again, as you have done in the past. That’s all there is to it.” Lilia said, switching to a soothing motherly voice.

Yuuri didn’t know what was happening and what they were doing, but he could hear that the Tzar had broken into sobs and was crying in someone’s arms.

It hurt Yuuri to hear more of the conversation and decided to quietly head back to the bedroom. Thankfully, Phichit was still asleep, and Victor found solace in perching on the windowsill. The owl was still awake, staring at him expectantly, as if he was waiting for him ever since he got out.

“Waiting for me, huh?” Yuuri mused as he pat Victor on the beak. “The Tzar is doing the same.” He mumbled. “Victor, if I told you what I intend to do, what would you think?”

The owl simply tilted his head to the side, saying _‘Don’t ask me. I’m just an owl.’_

Yuuri chuckled at that and gazed at the night sky.

The place screamed a lot of things to him, and from the moment he set foot in the country.

He knew he belonged here, and he knew that there was something he needed to do after hearing everything from Phichit and the conversation between the Tzar and his most trusted advisor and the baroness.

Taking a deep breath in the cold night, Yuuri finally made the decision.

“I want to remember.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Morning will come and I know we’ll be one**

**‘Cause I still believe that you’ll remember me**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**To Be Continued**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than expected due to real life and work. So sorry about that! The next one might take longer as well, no thanks to changes in work shifts, but I'll survive and try to work on the next installment! 
> 
> See you~!


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